Waxing Philosophical regarding Tiger Woods

So it seems like old news, and everyone and their mom has had an opinion regarding the matter, now it’s my turn.  In case you’ve been under a rock or rolling with an Aborigine tribe, you’ve heard about Tiger Woods and his endless line of honeys.  Without further adieu, here we go.

Tiger cheated on his wife and the fit is hitting the shan.  Let’s point a few things out.  First, Tiger isn’t a private citizen.  If it’s John and Jane Doe down the street, and no one knows who the hell they are, it’s a private matter.  When you’re the “Athlete of the Decade,” the face of the PGA, and you roll with Michael Jordan on the golf course, guess what?  You’re not a private citizen.  Unfortunately, you’re not a private citizen and your dirty laundry because public knowledge.  Don’t believe me?  I’ll give an example; Bill Clinton placed a cigar in an interns nether-regions.  If no one knew who Clinton was, he’s just another old dude who’s banging his intern.  Not terribly uncommon (unfortunately).  However, Clinton was the President of the United States and he was married (not to the intern).  It’s not a private matter.  You want to be a household name?  Get ready to deal with the proverbial shit-storm that’s going to follow.  Want to keep that stuff private?  Don’t be famous.

The next thing I want to point out is the fact that arguably the most recognizable, wealthiest athlete on the planet cheated on his wife.  “He seemed like such a nice guy,” etc.  If I’ve learned one thing in my three decades on this planet it’s nothing is what it seems.  Just because Tiger seems like a super nice guy doesn’t mean that he is.  He’s not Christ or Ghandi, but he’s not Pol Pot or Stalin.  He is human.  Having said that, he’s an athlete.  He’s loaded.  He can get any woman on the planet.  Are we really that surprised that the highest paid athlete in the world cheated on his wife?  That’s what these guys do.  It’s not limited to just athletes, but it’s how they roll.  It’s not out of the realm of their behavior.  I’ll give another example; you meet a woman who’s profession is “exotic dancer” (PC for…well, you know).  Let’s say you meet her out and about, and not at her place of employment (location isn’t important).  Whilst getting to know this young lady, you come to find out she’s got a kid and the baby daddy is behind bars.  Would you really be surprised to learn that this young lady had a substance abuse problem or ran away from home at 17?  I’d be more shocked to learn that this exotic dancer were a Julliard trained cellist, since that’s not something that really follows the pattern set.  My point; high paid athletes cheating on spouses shouldn’t surprise anyone and it’s not newsworthy.  High paid, prominent athletes who dabble in creating cold fusion or are Proust scholars?  You don’t come across those things everyday.

Let’s look at the other side of the coin, Tiger’s wife Elin.  She’s a victim here in this whole mess, but if I’m being honest (this is my blog, and I get to say what I want), I have to call this one like I see it.  I’m sure she loved Eldrick (Tiger’s given name) on some level, let’s see a show of hands from the audience out there as to who thinks she really loved him.  Yeah, I thought so.  Elin would’ve never married Tiger if he worked at Payless Shoe’s (those guys aren’t getting top notch ladies).  So let’s give a more reasonable set up.  If Tiger was making 80-90K a year, he’s probably not getting a looker like Elin.  Tiger is worth hundreds of millions of dollars (of which Elin's taking half, since she’s filing for divorce), and that makes him very attractive to a number of ladies (let the record show, as jaded as I can be, I recognize not all women out there are gold diggers.  Those women give the good ones a bad name).  Also, Tiger is no David Beckham, he’s an average dude playing a pretty boring game, which lends more water to my argument. 

Sorry for the late update (if anyone out there still reads this bad boy).  I’m going to try to get an outline up for a new Spank show idea I came up with tonight (involving talking animals, a forest, and a ton of adult issues….not perverted, just problems we all face).  That being said, GOOD NIGHT NOW!