When in the course of human events it becomes clear that the prodigal son has wandered too far away from what is really best for him, it is necessary for said proverbial prodigal son to return home. When using the term "home," it should be recognized that the only home is mother England who knows what's best for her prodigal child. The current United States of America needs the United Kingdom now more than ever.
We hold these truths to be self-evident. That all men were created equal under their respective Creator, holding such inalienable rights. Rights such as the right to a job, the right to a house, but not just any house, a nice house with at minimum 1.5 bathrooms and 2 bedrooms for at least 2 people (if more than 2 people reside in said house, we just extrapolate these numbers to fit the right number of people), the right to healthcare (by healthcare, we mean free plastic surgery, free gastric by-pass, free operations, and free drugs whenever and where ever we need them), free clothes, free cable, free wi-fi, free coffee, free food, free bed-time stories, free massages, free transportion, and last but not least freedom from arms. We also left out security, because we also realize that freedom is totally overrated, and it's more important to be secure than free. It should also be understood that you wanted this for us from the get go, and we thought we knew better. Prior to 1776, you ran a pretty tight ship and people were very secure. Unfortunately, we fought in the most unnecessary war in this nation's history by fighting in the Revolutionary War (aka British Vietnam) and won (accidentally), and it took 11 years to draft the Constitution once we declared our independence. Think of all the lives lost in that senseless war led by early "American" terrorists George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine, and Benjamin Franklin. Had we just used diplomacy and realized that the United Kingdom wanted what is best for us, we wouldn't be having the problems we have now under our current administration and our current economy.
The history of the current American president is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all screwing with our current economy/well-being. To prove this accusation, let us prove this to an entire cyber-world:
George W. Bush is a Nazi, a racist, and an elitist. He also destroyed our economy all by himself. It was all his fault, no one else but his. It wasn't the fault of banks lending to sub-prime lenders, it had nothing to do with people living outside of their means, it had nothing to do with a Congress that wanted to placate to their constituants, it had nothing to do with our own sense of wanting more and our "entitlement" lifestyle. It was 100% George Bush's fault, since he is the president and he makes all of the decisions.
George Bush is the reason for all of our problems. Government is benevolent and will only help others. We're not funding things enough under our current economy, ergo our current situation. It's the prime reason why the current United States of America should re-colonize and become part of Britain.
Under our current free market economy, we've royally (no pun intended) screwed up, and we realize the error of our ways. The free market just doesn't work anymore, and we believe that we are stronger together than we are apart. We would be 50 colonies strong for the United Kingdom, making us even more united under said current system.
We've had a Civil War. We clearly can't agree with our selves, as at one poit there were 3 seperate countries (not all at once) on this land (the Unites States, the Republic of Texas, and the Confederate States). We can't decide what's right for us, so we need you know.
Oh, and he also rapes babies and murders kittens (allegedley).
All in all, if you would be so inclined, these 50 states (which will become colonies if you see fit), would like to be absolved into the United Kingdom. Let's forget about the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812, and know that we will be ultimately better off under a United Kingdom. This declaration isn't an official declaration, but just the the ramblings of a mad man.
By the way United Kingdom, we're sorry, our bad, please forgive us and let us back in and make it all better.
Sincereley,
The United States
Brian Godleski
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Election
Damn it, I really wanted to keep talking about my vacation. I really did, but it's Super Tuesday, and I need to talk about the election. So we'll take a brief pause on vaction and talk about my voting experience today.
I registered a few months ago, and the state of New York requires party registration (I registered as a Libertarian). So google-mapped (is that even a verb?) my poll location, and it's litterally a block and a half away. The polls opened at 6 am, and I got there about 7 am to vote. Talk about a complete cluster ####. People were litterally just herded into groups in there, and thank God I got there when I did. Had I gotten there later, I would have litterally had to wait 4 plus hours. Couple that with the fact that the voting machines are about 50 years old, and you have the recipe for a beautiful mess. Let's pause for a second. The presidential election is an even you can pretty much set your watch to. I mean, it does sneak up on you every FOUR years. You would think the right people in charge would have the foresight to replace these dinosaur machines. To give you a better idea of what I had to deal with, here are these old school machines. You go behind a curtain, you look at this kind of grid in front of you, and you flip a switch for the person you want to as president, state rep, etc. Once you've done that, you pull a huge lever and that's how you cast your vote. I felt like I was working a cotton gin of sorts, which would make Eli Whitney proud. My biggest concern once I voted was that I did NOT get an "I Voted" sticker. I really like the satisfaction of voting and showing the world I voted, and I didn't see anything like that offered. Maybe they don't give Libertarians stickers for voting, I don't know...and the more that I think about it, I really want one.
I'm not going to wax political here, because I really try to keep this blog free of any political kind of rhetoric (let's just not get into it), but if you asked me who I voted for, if you know anything about me at all, you should be able to surmise that one yourself. If you ask me who I think will win, I think Obama is going to win the election. Watching Fox News now, they're saying McCain needs to win 5 out of the 6 following states (Indiana, Ohio, North Carolina, Virginia, Pennslyvania and Florida). That's a lot, and it's too close to call right now. Who knows. I will say this about America; good for you for getting out and voting. Our electorate had become very appathetic over the past few years, and to see people getting out there and becoming more politically active is good. Now if we can only explain to some of these people how the electoral college works, we'd be cooking. However, I did realize something today about America and Americans. We're essentially a bunch of spoiled teenagers in this country. I'm not saying things can't improve, and I definitely have my gripes with the government, but when you sit back and think about it, we have a lot to be grateful for. We don't have a police state (at least not as of this writing), most of us have a roof over our head, we don't have people starving in this country (obesity and heart disease are two gi-normous problems facing many people in this country, primarily the poor). Oh, and how many teenagers do you see sporting cell phones, ipods, and their own computer? Yeah, exactly. We're just like those spoiled teenagers. The second anythings goes wrong, or if our next proverbial Christmas isn't as good as our last, we bitch and moan. It's a pretty good simile if you think about it. OK, rant off. We'll get back to fun, hilarious vaction stories later this week. End transmission!
I registered a few months ago, and the state of New York requires party registration (I registered as a Libertarian). So google-mapped (is that even a verb?) my poll location, and it's litterally a block and a half away. The polls opened at 6 am, and I got there about 7 am to vote. Talk about a complete cluster ####. People were litterally just herded into groups in there, and thank God I got there when I did. Had I gotten there later, I would have litterally had to wait 4 plus hours. Couple that with the fact that the voting machines are about 50 years old, and you have the recipe for a beautiful mess. Let's pause for a second. The presidential election is an even you can pretty much set your watch to. I mean, it does sneak up on you every FOUR years. You would think the right people in charge would have the foresight to replace these dinosaur machines. To give you a better idea of what I had to deal with, here are these old school machines. You go behind a curtain, you look at this kind of grid in front of you, and you flip a switch for the person you want to as president, state rep, etc. Once you've done that, you pull a huge lever and that's how you cast your vote. I felt like I was working a cotton gin of sorts, which would make Eli Whitney proud. My biggest concern once I voted was that I did NOT get an "I Voted" sticker. I really like the satisfaction of voting and showing the world I voted, and I didn't see anything like that offered. Maybe they don't give Libertarians stickers for voting, I don't know...and the more that I think about it, I really want one.
I'm not going to wax political here, because I really try to keep this blog free of any political kind of rhetoric (let's just not get into it), but if you asked me who I voted for, if you know anything about me at all, you should be able to surmise that one yourself. If you ask me who I think will win, I think Obama is going to win the election. Watching Fox News now, they're saying McCain needs to win 5 out of the 6 following states (Indiana, Ohio, North Carolina, Virginia, Pennslyvania and Florida). That's a lot, and it's too close to call right now. Who knows. I will say this about America; good for you for getting out and voting. Our electorate had become very appathetic over the past few years, and to see people getting out there and becoming more politically active is good. Now if we can only explain to some of these people how the electoral college works, we'd be cooking. However, I did realize something today about America and Americans. We're essentially a bunch of spoiled teenagers in this country. I'm not saying things can't improve, and I definitely have my gripes with the government, but when you sit back and think about it, we have a lot to be grateful for. We don't have a police state (at least not as of this writing), most of us have a roof over our head, we don't have people starving in this country (obesity and heart disease are two gi-normous problems facing many people in this country, primarily the poor). Oh, and how many teenagers do you see sporting cell phones, ipods, and their own computer? Yeah, exactly. We're just like those spoiled teenagers. The second anythings goes wrong, or if our next proverbial Christmas isn't as good as our last, we bitch and moan. It's a pretty good simile if you think about it. OK, rant off. We'll get back to fun, hilarious vaction stories later this week. End transmission!
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