We Traded Vazquez for what?!?!

So I’m back digging being a frequent blogger again.  Good news for me, and even better news for you true believer.  Let’s start with how I woke up this morning, which is news out of the ATL that staff ace Javier Vazquez has been traded to the Yankees for Melkey Cabrera and what I believe to be Garbage Pail Kids Adam Bomb and Drew Blood (unconfirmed).  Good for Wren for getting a couple of tough to find old school Garbage Pail Kids for his collection, bad if you’re a fan of the team that plays its games off Ralph David Abernathy Blvd.  Let’s take a look at how this bad boy went down.

October-ish – the Braves re-sign one time Wunderkind Tim Hudson (picked up his team option for ‘10), thus giving us 6 starting pitchers.  In case you didn’t know, most teams go with 5 starters during the regular season.  The most attractive trade option (and the guy most trade rumors swirled around) was Javier Vazquez, because he was a power pitcher who had a fantastic ERA at 2.87.  He probably wins the Cy Young with an ounce of run support, but we’ll never know.  Know what, I just realized something, I forgot a key element to this Vazquez for Cabrera deal.

Sometime in the summer of 1957 – Frank Wren’s dad forgets wrap up whilst engaging in relations with Ms. Wren.  Flash forward fifty some years, and Javier Vazquez gets traded to the Yankees for a very average outfielder.  Back to the timeline.

November ‘09 – With 6 starting pitchers, Wren begins to shop the services of Derek Lowe (Carolyn Hughes not included.  Don’t get that reference?  Google her).  Derek Lowe is the pitcher we signed to a roughly $60 million deal last off-season to help shore up the staff.  Lowe wasn’t our first choice of starting pitchers brought in, as we were able to land Javier Vazquez in a trade with Chicago (I still think Shuerholz had more to do with this trade, but that’s another discussion for another time).  So we over-pay for Lowe, thus making him the ace of the staff.  Then the season started, and it became clear that Vazquez had the nasty stuff to be a legit staff ace, he just lacked run support.

*Back story – Lowe wasn’t our first choice, we tried to land A.J. Burnett from the Blue Jays (he ended up signing with the Yankees).  Back in the day (I miss the Ted Turner owned Braves; an ass with a billion dollars, finally got it together when he let John Shuerholz run the team and brought back Bobby Cox).  The reason I bring up A.J. Burnett is because he took the offer from the Yankees because it was a shorter drive for his wife, who hates to fly (they live in Baltimore).  A fairly legit reason, but the thing is Wren and the Braves were rebuffed by almost every free agent they pursued.  How did the Braves go from the hot girl every guy wanted to get with to the worn out has-been with the herpes sore over her lip (apologies for the graphic image, but the analogy is so apt in this instance).  Furcal re-signed with the Dodgers, Griffey told Chipper he was coming to the Braves, only to re-sign with the Mariners.  So in the ‘08 off season, Wren proved that he couldn’t close, which also makes me think that he’s less than stellar as a wingman (a topic we can discuss later).

December ‘09 – Wren’s having a bitch of a time moving Lowe (Really?  Teams don’t want to pay $15 million a year for a guy with a 4.67 ERA?).  See, the Braves payroll is around $95 million (give or take), and they stick to that number.  It’s not like we’re the Marlins or the Pirates by any means, but if the Braves are going to move that guy off their payroll, they want whomever takes him to pick up a large (i.e. all) portion of his salary, and that’s just not happening.  Enter our ace, Javier Vazquez.  He’s in the final year of an $11.5 million per year contract, and he’s probably due a nice raise.  Wren should’ve nutted up and not re-signed Hudson, thus leaving the staff the way it was (Vazquez as your ace, followed by Jair Jurrgens, Tommy Hanson, and Derek Lowe).  That’s a very good staff right there, with the Braves needing a bat (or 2) to go from potential wild card contender back to where we belong amongst the league’s elite.  So what does Wren do?  Deals our ace and a reliever (Boone Logan, I guess he just comes with Vazquez now, since he was dealt to the Braves initially with him from the White Sox) to the Yankees and gets their BACK-UP CF and a couple of prospects.  Let me point that out again.  I live in New York, literally about 5 minutes from the Yankee Stadium, so I’ve seen my share of Yankee games.  They have a plethora of OF’s, and we got the guy that Brett Gardner beat out.  I guess it’s better than a dozen baseballs and a NY Lotto ticket.  Oh, and we still need a bat.  I’m not a psychic, nor am I a prophet (I can play one on TV), but here’s how Wren will sell Braves fans:

1)  Well, I couldn’t move Lowe, so I had to move a starter.  We just re-signed Hudson, so that wasn’t going to happen, and since Jurrgens and Hanson are the future of the organization (at least until Scott Boras takes them to free agency), they’re untouchable, which leaves us with the Kenshin Kawakami (how do you say “middle relief” in Japanese?), Derek Lowe, and Javier Vazquez.  Lowe’s too expensive to move, so Vazquez makes for a nice one season rental with low risk for a team.

2)  The money we save on paying Vazquez represents about $9 million a year we now have to spend on a bat, while we still have a good starting rotation (it’s OK at best now, sort of where the Phillies are…maybe not as good, since they now have Roy Halladay as their ace).  So we’ll use that money to lure in the (mark my words, he’ll say it) “best power hitter we can possibly get.” (We’ll end up with Mark DeRosa).  If you’re thinking Jason Bay or Matt Holliday are coming to Atlanta, you probably also liked the movie “Good Luck Chuck.”  It’s not going to happen (those guys will get in the neighborhood of $18 to $20 million a year).  Difference makers like the aforementioned players make considerably more than $9 million a year.  Essentially, Wren did not make the Braves better (I’m confidant in that fact even if we do bring in an alleged “bat,” you subtracted your biggest arm, the trade-off being the rotation isn’t as good as it was and you’re not going to get the difference making bat the Braves desperately need.  Nice job Wren. 

2 updates in 1 week?!?!?!

I know, it sounds crazy, but I’m doing it.  It also makes it easy that I have Windows Writer on my laptop, and with the click of a button, I can update my blog.  I think it’s a good idea for an aspiring writer to update his blog as much as possible (let’s gun for 2 times a week), since practice makes perfect.  Also, a big shout out to Alicia for giving me the news update idea.  I think I’ll be incorporating it into the blog sooner rather than later.  Anyway, let’s move on.

First, a rant on buying books for school.  What a scam.  Seriously.  If you’ve been to college, you know the routine, you pay a shitload of money for classes, and once you get said classes, they tell you that you have to buy another shitload of books for said class.  Oh, and when you try to “sell” them back at the end of the semester/quarter/whatever the hell your school is on, you get maybe 10% of what you initially spent.  While I don’t necessarily have a problem with this practice (pawn shops work in a very similar matter), I have a huge problem with an establishment making a certain economic system the bad guy (in this case capitalism), when in fact said university/school fully engages in all of the benefits and privileges offered by the aforementioned economic system.  To the best of my knowledge, no one has ever brought that up.  Glad I could be the first (of sorts).  Anyway, let’s wrap up the week and what has happened.

Christmas is upon us (or Festivus if you’re a devotee of “Seinfeld”).  I usually spend the holidays (or day, since it’s one day, but you get my drift) with my family in Jacksonville, FL, but I won’t be able to make it down this year.  Not the end of the world by any means.  I love seeing my cousins at Christmas, and it’s really the coolest thing for Kevin (my brother) and I to head down there.  It’s like we’re total rock stars heading in.  I’m gunning for a January visit since tickets are a bit cheaper, I’ll have more time (possibly….if I sign up for a level 5 class at UCB, we’ll have to play it by ear).  Anyway, I’ll be lobbing a call the St. John’s River area on Christmas to say hello to the fam.  If you’re reading this blog and you’re estranged/pissed off/angry/MIA with your family, lob them a call.  And there goes my public service announcement for the day.

“Avatar” is looking pretty sick.  Most of the previews I’ve seen concerning this film have had me kind of “meh.”  Visually, it looks bad ass.  However, everything I’ve heard about the movie since it’s debut has been über positive.  If “Thundercats” the live action film ever gets made, they need to bring James Cameron and the production crew of “Avatar” on board.  Wow, I just got an Avatar-style image of “Thundercats,” with Wesley Snipes as Panthro and Tim Roth as Tygra.  OK, make THIS movie NOW!!!

On the nerd side of things, the “Iron Man 2” trailer hit the internet this week, and I can’t WAIT for this bad boy.  It’s so refreshing to see a director, writer, and cast so solidly on board with this project.  Memo to Hollywood when making a comic book movie:  these things are cash cows.  They won’t NOT make money.  There are a plethora of nerds with disposable incomes (because they’re not spending money on girls) to spend on the movie.  Give the nerds the movie they want, get a cast and crew that want to do the movie and care about it, stick to the source material (as close as possible), and you’re gold.  God, I hope “Avengers” doesn’t suck.

On a sad note, actress Brittany Murphy passed away today at the age of 32.  While 32 would’ve been considered ancient in the Bronze Age, it’s incredibly young by today’s measures (a year older than yours truly).  Cause of death is listed as cardiac arrest (heart attack for my readers who aren’t that well read).  OK, a couple of things; I’m not making any jokes.  When Rick James died, I gladly made jokes because the cause of death was listed as “natural causes,” and anyone who holds another person hostage at hot crack pipe point (true story) doesn’t die of natural causes.  I’m a given skeptic, so the first inkling is to think drugs since women don’t typically have heart attacks, and it’s even more rare for a woman in her early 30’s to suffer a heart attack.  I hope foul play wasn’t or substance abuse wasn’t involved, but that’s where the autopsy comes in.  My deepest sympathies and condolences to her family and friends for this untimely tragedy.  

That’s all I have for this week.  Let’s hope I can stick to Alicia’s idea and keep updating on a regular basis and keep her idea (I can’t take credit for it) going on a regular basis.  OUT!

Waxing Philosophical regarding Tiger Woods

So it seems like old news, and everyone and their mom has had an opinion regarding the matter, now it’s my turn.  In case you’ve been under a rock or rolling with an Aborigine tribe, you’ve heard about Tiger Woods and his endless line of honeys.  Without further adieu, here we go.

Tiger cheated on his wife and the fit is hitting the shan.  Let’s point a few things out.  First, Tiger isn’t a private citizen.  If it’s John and Jane Doe down the street, and no one knows who the hell they are, it’s a private matter.  When you’re the “Athlete of the Decade,” the face of the PGA, and you roll with Michael Jordan on the golf course, guess what?  You’re not a private citizen.  Unfortunately, you’re not a private citizen and your dirty laundry because public knowledge.  Don’t believe me?  I’ll give an example; Bill Clinton placed a cigar in an interns nether-regions.  If no one knew who Clinton was, he’s just another old dude who’s banging his intern.  Not terribly uncommon (unfortunately).  However, Clinton was the President of the United States and he was married (not to the intern).  It’s not a private matter.  You want to be a household name?  Get ready to deal with the proverbial shit-storm that’s going to follow.  Want to keep that stuff private?  Don’t be famous.

The next thing I want to point out is the fact that arguably the most recognizable, wealthiest athlete on the planet cheated on his wife.  “He seemed like such a nice guy,” etc.  If I’ve learned one thing in my three decades on this planet it’s nothing is what it seems.  Just because Tiger seems like a super nice guy doesn’t mean that he is.  He’s not Christ or Ghandi, but he’s not Pol Pot or Stalin.  He is human.  Having said that, he’s an athlete.  He’s loaded.  He can get any woman on the planet.  Are we really that surprised that the highest paid athlete in the world cheated on his wife?  That’s what these guys do.  It’s not limited to just athletes, but it’s how they roll.  It’s not out of the realm of their behavior.  I’ll give another example; you meet a woman who’s profession is “exotic dancer” (PC for…well, you know).  Let’s say you meet her out and about, and not at her place of employment (location isn’t important).  Whilst getting to know this young lady, you come to find out she’s got a kid and the baby daddy is behind bars.  Would you really be surprised to learn that this young lady had a substance abuse problem or ran away from home at 17?  I’d be more shocked to learn that this exotic dancer were a Julliard trained cellist, since that’s not something that really follows the pattern set.  My point; high paid athletes cheating on spouses shouldn’t surprise anyone and it’s not newsworthy.  High paid, prominent athletes who dabble in creating cold fusion or are Proust scholars?  You don’t come across those things everyday.

Let’s look at the other side of the coin, Tiger’s wife Elin.  She’s a victim here in this whole mess, but if I’m being honest (this is my blog, and I get to say what I want), I have to call this one like I see it.  I’m sure she loved Eldrick (Tiger’s given name) on some level, let’s see a show of hands from the audience out there as to who thinks she really loved him.  Yeah, I thought so.  Elin would’ve never married Tiger if he worked at Payless Shoe’s (those guys aren’t getting top notch ladies).  So let’s give a more reasonable set up.  If Tiger was making 80-90K a year, he’s probably not getting a looker like Elin.  Tiger is worth hundreds of millions of dollars (of which Elin's taking half, since she’s filing for divorce), and that makes him very attractive to a number of ladies (let the record show, as jaded as I can be, I recognize not all women out there are gold diggers.  Those women give the good ones a bad name).  Also, Tiger is no David Beckham, he’s an average dude playing a pretty boring game, which lends more water to my argument. 

Sorry for the late update (if anyone out there still reads this bad boy).  I’m going to try to get an outline up for a new Spank show idea I came up with tonight (involving talking animals, a forest, and a ton of adult issues….not perverted, just problems we all face).  That being said, GOOD NIGHT NOW!