We Traded Vazquez for what?!?!

So I’m back digging being a frequent blogger again.  Good news for me, and even better news for you true believer.  Let’s start with how I woke up this morning, which is news out of the ATL that staff ace Javier Vazquez has been traded to the Yankees for Melkey Cabrera and what I believe to be Garbage Pail Kids Adam Bomb and Drew Blood (unconfirmed).  Good for Wren for getting a couple of tough to find old school Garbage Pail Kids for his collection, bad if you’re a fan of the team that plays its games off Ralph David Abernathy Blvd.  Let’s take a look at how this bad boy went down.

October-ish – the Braves re-sign one time Wunderkind Tim Hudson (picked up his team option for ‘10), thus giving us 6 starting pitchers.  In case you didn’t know, most teams go with 5 starters during the regular season.  The most attractive trade option (and the guy most trade rumors swirled around) was Javier Vazquez, because he was a power pitcher who had a fantastic ERA at 2.87.  He probably wins the Cy Young with an ounce of run support, but we’ll never know.  Know what, I just realized something, I forgot a key element to this Vazquez for Cabrera deal.

Sometime in the summer of 1957 – Frank Wren’s dad forgets wrap up whilst engaging in relations with Ms. Wren.  Flash forward fifty some years, and Javier Vazquez gets traded to the Yankees for a very average outfielder.  Back to the timeline.

November ‘09 – With 6 starting pitchers, Wren begins to shop the services of Derek Lowe (Carolyn Hughes not included.  Don’t get that reference?  Google her).  Derek Lowe is the pitcher we signed to a roughly $60 million deal last off-season to help shore up the staff.  Lowe wasn’t our first choice of starting pitchers brought in, as we were able to land Javier Vazquez in a trade with Chicago (I still think Shuerholz had more to do with this trade, but that’s another discussion for another time).  So we over-pay for Lowe, thus making him the ace of the staff.  Then the season started, and it became clear that Vazquez had the nasty stuff to be a legit staff ace, he just lacked run support.

*Back story – Lowe wasn’t our first choice, we tried to land A.J. Burnett from the Blue Jays (he ended up signing with the Yankees).  Back in the day (I miss the Ted Turner owned Braves; an ass with a billion dollars, finally got it together when he let John Shuerholz run the team and brought back Bobby Cox).  The reason I bring up A.J. Burnett is because he took the offer from the Yankees because it was a shorter drive for his wife, who hates to fly (they live in Baltimore).  A fairly legit reason, but the thing is Wren and the Braves were rebuffed by almost every free agent they pursued.  How did the Braves go from the hot girl every guy wanted to get with to the worn out has-been with the herpes sore over her lip (apologies for the graphic image, but the analogy is so apt in this instance).  Furcal re-signed with the Dodgers, Griffey told Chipper he was coming to the Braves, only to re-sign with the Mariners.  So in the ‘08 off season, Wren proved that he couldn’t close, which also makes me think that he’s less than stellar as a wingman (a topic we can discuss later).

December ‘09 – Wren’s having a bitch of a time moving Lowe (Really?  Teams don’t want to pay $15 million a year for a guy with a 4.67 ERA?).  See, the Braves payroll is around $95 million (give or take), and they stick to that number.  It’s not like we’re the Marlins or the Pirates by any means, but if the Braves are going to move that guy off their payroll, they want whomever takes him to pick up a large (i.e. all) portion of his salary, and that’s just not happening.  Enter our ace, Javier Vazquez.  He’s in the final year of an $11.5 million per year contract, and he’s probably due a nice raise.  Wren should’ve nutted up and not re-signed Hudson, thus leaving the staff the way it was (Vazquez as your ace, followed by Jair Jurrgens, Tommy Hanson, and Derek Lowe).  That’s a very good staff right there, with the Braves needing a bat (or 2) to go from potential wild card contender back to where we belong amongst the league’s elite.  So what does Wren do?  Deals our ace and a reliever (Boone Logan, I guess he just comes with Vazquez now, since he was dealt to the Braves initially with him from the White Sox) to the Yankees and gets their BACK-UP CF and a couple of prospects.  Let me point that out again.  I live in New York, literally about 5 minutes from the Yankee Stadium, so I’ve seen my share of Yankee games.  They have a plethora of OF’s, and we got the guy that Brett Gardner beat out.  I guess it’s better than a dozen baseballs and a NY Lotto ticket.  Oh, and we still need a bat.  I’m not a psychic, nor am I a prophet (I can play one on TV), but here’s how Wren will sell Braves fans:

1)  Well, I couldn’t move Lowe, so I had to move a starter.  We just re-signed Hudson, so that wasn’t going to happen, and since Jurrgens and Hanson are the future of the organization (at least until Scott Boras takes them to free agency), they’re untouchable, which leaves us with the Kenshin Kawakami (how do you say “middle relief” in Japanese?), Derek Lowe, and Javier Vazquez.  Lowe’s too expensive to move, so Vazquez makes for a nice one season rental with low risk for a team.

2)  The money we save on paying Vazquez represents about $9 million a year we now have to spend on a bat, while we still have a good starting rotation (it’s OK at best now, sort of where the Phillies are…maybe not as good, since they now have Roy Halladay as their ace).  So we’ll use that money to lure in the (mark my words, he’ll say it) “best power hitter we can possibly get.” (We’ll end up with Mark DeRosa).  If you’re thinking Jason Bay or Matt Holliday are coming to Atlanta, you probably also liked the movie “Good Luck Chuck.”  It’s not going to happen (those guys will get in the neighborhood of $18 to $20 million a year).  Difference makers like the aforementioned players make considerably more than $9 million a year.  Essentially, Wren did not make the Braves better (I’m confidant in that fact even if we do bring in an alleged “bat,” you subtracted your biggest arm, the trade-off being the rotation isn’t as good as it was and you’re not going to get the difference making bat the Braves desperately need.  Nice job Wren. 

2 updates in 1 week?!?!?!

I know, it sounds crazy, but I’m doing it.  It also makes it easy that I have Windows Writer on my laptop, and with the click of a button, I can update my blog.  I think it’s a good idea for an aspiring writer to update his blog as much as possible (let’s gun for 2 times a week), since practice makes perfect.  Also, a big shout out to Alicia for giving me the news update idea.  I think I’ll be incorporating it into the blog sooner rather than later.  Anyway, let’s move on.

First, a rant on buying books for school.  What a scam.  Seriously.  If you’ve been to college, you know the routine, you pay a shitload of money for classes, and once you get said classes, they tell you that you have to buy another shitload of books for said class.  Oh, and when you try to “sell” them back at the end of the semester/quarter/whatever the hell your school is on, you get maybe 10% of what you initially spent.  While I don’t necessarily have a problem with this practice (pawn shops work in a very similar matter), I have a huge problem with an establishment making a certain economic system the bad guy (in this case capitalism), when in fact said university/school fully engages in all of the benefits and privileges offered by the aforementioned economic system.  To the best of my knowledge, no one has ever brought that up.  Glad I could be the first (of sorts).  Anyway, let’s wrap up the week and what has happened.

Christmas is upon us (or Festivus if you’re a devotee of “Seinfeld”).  I usually spend the holidays (or day, since it’s one day, but you get my drift) with my family in Jacksonville, FL, but I won’t be able to make it down this year.  Not the end of the world by any means.  I love seeing my cousins at Christmas, and it’s really the coolest thing for Kevin (my brother) and I to head down there.  It’s like we’re total rock stars heading in.  I’m gunning for a January visit since tickets are a bit cheaper, I’ll have more time (possibly….if I sign up for a level 5 class at UCB, we’ll have to play it by ear).  Anyway, I’ll be lobbing a call the St. John’s River area on Christmas to say hello to the fam.  If you’re reading this blog and you’re estranged/pissed off/angry/MIA with your family, lob them a call.  And there goes my public service announcement for the day.

“Avatar” is looking pretty sick.  Most of the previews I’ve seen concerning this film have had me kind of “meh.”  Visually, it looks bad ass.  However, everything I’ve heard about the movie since it’s debut has been über positive.  If “Thundercats” the live action film ever gets made, they need to bring James Cameron and the production crew of “Avatar” on board.  Wow, I just got an Avatar-style image of “Thundercats,” with Wesley Snipes as Panthro and Tim Roth as Tygra.  OK, make THIS movie NOW!!!

On the nerd side of things, the “Iron Man 2” trailer hit the internet this week, and I can’t WAIT for this bad boy.  It’s so refreshing to see a director, writer, and cast so solidly on board with this project.  Memo to Hollywood when making a comic book movie:  these things are cash cows.  They won’t NOT make money.  There are a plethora of nerds with disposable incomes (because they’re not spending money on girls) to spend on the movie.  Give the nerds the movie they want, get a cast and crew that want to do the movie and care about it, stick to the source material (as close as possible), and you’re gold.  God, I hope “Avengers” doesn’t suck.

On a sad note, actress Brittany Murphy passed away today at the age of 32.  While 32 would’ve been considered ancient in the Bronze Age, it’s incredibly young by today’s measures (a year older than yours truly).  Cause of death is listed as cardiac arrest (heart attack for my readers who aren’t that well read).  OK, a couple of things; I’m not making any jokes.  When Rick James died, I gladly made jokes because the cause of death was listed as “natural causes,” and anyone who holds another person hostage at hot crack pipe point (true story) doesn’t die of natural causes.  I’m a given skeptic, so the first inkling is to think drugs since women don’t typically have heart attacks, and it’s even more rare for a woman in her early 30’s to suffer a heart attack.  I hope foul play wasn’t or substance abuse wasn’t involved, but that’s where the autopsy comes in.  My deepest sympathies and condolences to her family and friends for this untimely tragedy.  

That’s all I have for this week.  Let’s hope I can stick to Alicia’s idea and keep updating on a regular basis and keep her idea (I can’t take credit for it) going on a regular basis.  OUT!

Waxing Philosophical regarding Tiger Woods

So it seems like old news, and everyone and their mom has had an opinion regarding the matter, now it’s my turn.  In case you’ve been under a rock or rolling with an Aborigine tribe, you’ve heard about Tiger Woods and his endless line of honeys.  Without further adieu, here we go.

Tiger cheated on his wife and the fit is hitting the shan.  Let’s point a few things out.  First, Tiger isn’t a private citizen.  If it’s John and Jane Doe down the street, and no one knows who the hell they are, it’s a private matter.  When you’re the “Athlete of the Decade,” the face of the PGA, and you roll with Michael Jordan on the golf course, guess what?  You’re not a private citizen.  Unfortunately, you’re not a private citizen and your dirty laundry because public knowledge.  Don’t believe me?  I’ll give an example; Bill Clinton placed a cigar in an interns nether-regions.  If no one knew who Clinton was, he’s just another old dude who’s banging his intern.  Not terribly uncommon (unfortunately).  However, Clinton was the President of the United States and he was married (not to the intern).  It’s not a private matter.  You want to be a household name?  Get ready to deal with the proverbial shit-storm that’s going to follow.  Want to keep that stuff private?  Don’t be famous.

The next thing I want to point out is the fact that arguably the most recognizable, wealthiest athlete on the planet cheated on his wife.  “He seemed like such a nice guy,” etc.  If I’ve learned one thing in my three decades on this planet it’s nothing is what it seems.  Just because Tiger seems like a super nice guy doesn’t mean that he is.  He’s not Christ or Ghandi, but he’s not Pol Pot or Stalin.  He is human.  Having said that, he’s an athlete.  He’s loaded.  He can get any woman on the planet.  Are we really that surprised that the highest paid athlete in the world cheated on his wife?  That’s what these guys do.  It’s not limited to just athletes, but it’s how they roll.  It’s not out of the realm of their behavior.  I’ll give another example; you meet a woman who’s profession is “exotic dancer” (PC for…well, you know).  Let’s say you meet her out and about, and not at her place of employment (location isn’t important).  Whilst getting to know this young lady, you come to find out she’s got a kid and the baby daddy is behind bars.  Would you really be surprised to learn that this young lady had a substance abuse problem or ran away from home at 17?  I’d be more shocked to learn that this exotic dancer were a Julliard trained cellist, since that’s not something that really follows the pattern set.  My point; high paid athletes cheating on spouses shouldn’t surprise anyone and it’s not newsworthy.  High paid, prominent athletes who dabble in creating cold fusion or are Proust scholars?  You don’t come across those things everyday.

Let’s look at the other side of the coin, Tiger’s wife Elin.  She’s a victim here in this whole mess, but if I’m being honest (this is my blog, and I get to say what I want), I have to call this one like I see it.  I’m sure she loved Eldrick (Tiger’s given name) on some level, let’s see a show of hands from the audience out there as to who thinks she really loved him.  Yeah, I thought so.  Elin would’ve never married Tiger if he worked at Payless Shoe’s (those guys aren’t getting top notch ladies).  So let’s give a more reasonable set up.  If Tiger was making 80-90K a year, he’s probably not getting a looker like Elin.  Tiger is worth hundreds of millions of dollars (of which Elin's taking half, since she’s filing for divorce), and that makes him very attractive to a number of ladies (let the record show, as jaded as I can be, I recognize not all women out there are gold diggers.  Those women give the good ones a bad name).  Also, Tiger is no David Beckham, he’s an average dude playing a pretty boring game, which lends more water to my argument. 

Sorry for the late update (if anyone out there still reads this bad boy).  I’m going to try to get an outline up for a new Spank show idea I came up with tonight (involving talking animals, a forest, and a ton of adult issues….not perverted, just problems we all face).  That being said, GOOD NIGHT NOW!

It's That Time of Year Again

And so it's upon us. Oh, greetings everyone, and welcome back to...well, my blog. One last continuation from last weeks "LOST" temper tantrum. Where did Vincent the dog go? OK, back to writing...

So today is April 15th, or tax day in America. I really, really, really try to leave personal politics aside and I try oh so hard to make this a New York experience blog, but since it's still ultimately my blog, I figure, let's just wax poetic on the good 'ole American tax system.

I don't think anyone in their right mind enjoys filing taxes. Seriously, it's a tedious, monotonous chore, where by you pay someone a nice chunk of money, only to find out you owe more money (not everyone of course, but you see where I'm going...by the way, many thanks to my friend Janet for knocking my taxes out so quickly this year).

I've been reading about a number of tax protests around the country. Most of these protesting involve teabags, or teabagging (I know, I'm laughing as well, but mind out of the gutter people). Every article or story I've seen or read has involved the word "conservative," as if to further divide this country and to depict people who genuinely want to see tax reform as a nut (not that conservatives are nuts, but I've noticed if people in New York think you're of the conservative mindset, they basically regard you as almost a pedophile). So of course, the little hamster upstairs got to running, and I got to thinking...

I get that we have to pay taxes. I think most reasonable (if not most all) Americans understand that in order for the government to function at its proper level, it needs money. No arguement here. We need to fund a military, take care of veterns, police, firemen, etc. Of course, last time I checked, we didn't have a federal police force (for now) thanks in part to that pesky 10th Amendment (and no, the FBI doesn't count). So with exception to a very small majority, we can surmise that people are willing to pay taxes. Now, let's take a serious look at how they're collected. Anyone want to take a stab at this one? In a nutshell, the US needed to raise quick capital to help fund WWII, since people had been paying income tax since 1913 (or thereabouts....oh, and it was like the wealthiest of the wealthy). Essentially, when April 15th came around, you figured out how much you owe, and you would cut a check to Uncle Sam. So since the military needed that cash quick, say hello to the era of "take home pay." It was supposed to be a temporary measure, just to help fund the war effort, and then we'd go back to writing a check once a year based on income. I understand we're the global police force and what not, and we're fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan right now, but we're not fighting the Axis, at least no one has consulted me on this matter, so I'm going to assume we're not. If you've gotten a pay check in the last 60 years (from an employer, not including anything off the books), you should see you're "take home" amount. OK, so they stretched the truth a bit. Who hasn't, but that little fib should stay in our minds. Remember, they make the laws, they can change them as they see fit (and if you think any member of Congress is benevolent and has your best interest at heart over their own...seriously take some time to answer that one).

Lately (and I'll go back over the last 10 years or so), Congress really wants your money. There was the Republican Revolution of '94, which was a promise to reduce the size and cost of government. Unless you're devoutly in love with the idea of the federal government being involved in every aspect of your life, again, it's a pretty good idea. Unfortunately, didn't really happen. Fast forward to the next guy in the White House, and he became the biggest (well, now 2nd biggest) spender since Lyndon Johnson. Also, the government GREW under W as well. So much for that promise, but still a good idea (the idea of shrinking the government and reigning in spending).

Speaking of reigning in spending, does anyone else hear alot of talk about this concept, yet zero action? Again, I'm a realist, and I understand that our founding fathers really couldn't forsee all of the great things we all take for granted on an everyday basis. Things like getting milk from a grocery store and not directly from a cow, penecilin, and living past the age of 40. However, they were able to forsee one thing specifically: there is no limit to the thirst for power some people and the government have. So, knowing this, they came up with a system based on economic liberty and personal freedom governed by the rule of law (your friend and mine, the Constitution). So yes, while it may be a "living document" in some senses, remember, these were smart guys that set this bad boy up, and they knew exactly how tyrants and despots operated. So anyway, back to teabagging...

Teabag protests, in honor of the Boston Tea Party. You know, the intruiging thing I always thought about the Boston Tea Party was that these dudes dressed up as Native Americans when they dumped the tea. So I imagine the thought process would be something along the lines of "OK, if someone sees us dumping tea in the distance, it's OK, because we'll just rock a few feathers in our hair, slap on some war paint, and go topless...BOOM! Let's frame some Indians!!!" Could you imagine the British riding into a camp the next day, "ah yeah, we got a report that some of your men dumped some tea into the harbor." How shocked would they be. And yet, I never heard of any Native American complain about it. So in the spirit of the 70's (1770's that is), people have been sending tea bags to their reps in Congress. Yeah, because that will get their attention. Right now, most of these guys are tripping all over themselves to lambast the AIG's of the world and every bank for A) giving tax dollars to executives as bonuses and B) banks actually being able to pay back the loans they borrowed from the tax payers. I can understand the frustration with A, since if a company is failing to the point of borrowing tax money, it's not in the best interest to turn around and shell out a few million in bonuses (then again, you have the government involved, and they're good at throwing money at problems and not really solving them, so what did you really expect). I'm a tad concerned about B. It seems that alot of the banks are finding ways to pay back the TARP money because they really don't want to be indebted/told how to run their business by the government (facism was never really all that popular anyway). Kind of scary if you think about it. Anyway, back to taxes.

I was reading an article on CNN.com today by Paul Begala. He was saying today should be "Patriot Day." Again, he made some fair points, as in taxes are inevitable, and we all need to pay. It comes down to what's "fair." I think people inherently want to be fair, however Begala goes to the extreme when he goes on to compare any one who has wealth to Paris Hilton. I think most people can agree that Paris really didn't work hard to get where she is, and she basically was very lucky to be born a Hilton. Hey, sucks, because I'm sure there are more deserving people out there, but that's life; it's not always fair, so there's no sense bitching about it. However, for every Paris Hilton, how many Tyler Perry's, or Oprah Winfrey's, or Warren Buffets are there out there? The biggest difference between the latter and the former is that the latter group worked hard, made sacrifices, and made good decisions to become exceedingly wealthy. To my knowledge, they've never taken advantage of anyone or anything ever. That also doesn't include all of the other people who aren't household names who worked hard, saved, and made difficult decisions to finally get to a point where they really don't have to worry about it. Honestly, I hope to get to that point some day, and you know what? I'll probably leave most of it to my family to spend on candy and shoes. I really don't want to government coming in and taking half of my money once I go belly up like some vindictive ex-wife. Seriously, 45%? That's fair?

I'm currently reading Neal Boortz and John Linder's book "The Fair Tax: Answering the Critics." I strongly encourage any one to read it (Neal, if you happen to be reading this, you're welcome for the plug). Even if you truly hate the idea of a national retail tax, the book is a very interesting read about our current tax structure, and how a 23% national sales tax would affect the economy and we'd still be able to fund the day to day functions fo tht government (for the record, no, 23% is NOT added to the final price of the good). The book does a great job of explaining how it could replace our current system and ultimately streamline our government and businesses. Wow, I never thought I'd be recommending a book on taxes. Oh well, almost time for "LOST." Until next time!

Why the television show "LOST" is becoming irksome

In a quick acting update, I auditioned for UCB House Harold team this past Friday. It's my first audition for the team (you become eligible after completing Improv 401), so we'll see. Anyway, on to the matter at hand, which is title of this particular entry. We're going to chat a little "LOST."

Some of you may follow the show, and some of you don't, so I'll really try my best to avoid any spoilers to any potential viewer out there. When the show began back around 2004 or so, I really didn't give a crap about the show. Fast forward a season and a half, and I was told by multiple sources about how great this show is, how you have to pay attention, and basically that I had to watch it. So I watched the next episode and enjoyed it. I had no idea that my roommate at the time was really into the show, and he scolded me for watching episodes out of sequence. He promptly let me borrow season 1 (and a few months later season 2) so I could get completely caught up. I became hooked. Plot twists and sci-fi stuff, and really cool back stories (let the record show that the afforementioned "sentence" is not a sentence as there isn't a subject or verb, I'm really just writing as if I were talking now, so all of you grammarphiles, knock it off...you know who you are).

The show is currently in season 5 out of a possible 6 seasons, and I don't know if any other fans are as frustrated as I am, but I intend to outline some major plot points that have not been answered, or completely abandoned, or God only knows what happened. For the record, it's my understanding that the writers of "LOST" are contractually obligated to answer every question/mystery/etc. by the series end.

1) We're four and a half seasons into the show and not a single person has a freaking idea what the hell this damn island is. At a certain point withing, oh, I don't know, the first or second season, we should have some kind of idea. All we know as of right now is that the island can be physically moved, it's been inhabited by a group calling itself the Dharma Initiative, and a group of hostiles known as the Others. I'm not going to dwell on this one too much, but I don't think it's too much to ask for a bit more clarification on what in the name of all things holy this place is.

2) Where happened to the other survivors of Oceanic 815?
*Spoiler Alert*
At the end of season 4, Ben pushed this big magic wheel knocking the islad off it's "timeline" (we're going to cover that bad boy as well), a group consisting of Locke, Sawyer, Miles, Faraday, Julliet, and the red head (forgot her name) began to travel through time, seeing many past incarnations/inhabitants of the island. That's fine and dandy, but there missing something kind of huge here. There were SEVERAL survivors of 815. From a production standpoint, these are the extras. Still not clear on whom I'm talking about? OK, remember the couple on there, the wife had cancer and the island cured her? Her husband was the guy who played Mr. Dewitt on Growing Pains? Mr. Dewitt, he was Kirk Cameron/Mike Seaver's high school principal...Ben Seaver ran into him one night while he was out with Stinky and Boner looking for potash for a school project. OK, now you know who I'm talking about. Back to "LOST." Jack and Kate tried to get to the freighter, but Locke and Sawyer didn't find it prudent, so they took a captured Ben Linus back to Eggtown (the houses formerly of the Dharma Initiative that were then inhabited by the Others). OK, so you have a picture, after I went on a "Growing Pains" tangent and what not. The point? Yeah, where the hell did all those people go? Everyone I've posed this question to who's a follower of the show has given me the same answer:

"Oh....yeah...where did they go?"

2) Where are the Others?

I can sort of answer this question. Ben gave them instructions, I want to say that he sent them to the Swan, or the Flame, or the Orchid...something along those lines. They're in hiding. It's just that they were such a big part of the show for 3 seasons, we havent' heard from them at all, we were starting to get a beat on what's going on, and then...nothing. Oh, and they had extensive files on 815 survivors, were able to bring Locke's dad to the island (which it sounded like he knew something about this place, but we'll never know now), they wanted to kidnap kids, wore disguises, would routinely invade the beach camp, and had a list of survivors who were "the good ones." Again....nothing.

3) Why doesn't Richard Alpert age and who is this guy?

We met Richard back in season 3. I can look past not getting to his age-defying theatrics for now, but we should at the very least have an idea of who this guy is. The only time we ever saw him look different in any way was when young Ben Linus met him (in a Ben back story) and Alpert was rocking a sweet Grizzly Adams-style beard.

4) Are we ever going to find out about Niki and Paulo?
Don't give me this "filler episode" nonsense. They dedicated an entire episode to these 2, only to see them buried alive. Thank you for the cliff hanger that will never be resolved.

5) What's up with this Jacob guy that Locke did not see at first, but finally heard his plea for help?

Yeah....bet you forgot about that, since it was forever ago, and they keep adding new stuff to remember. Is he an Other, Dharma Initiative.....what?

6) The Flight 815 "wreckage" was discovered.

Obviously it was planted, and my money is on Charles Widmore. Again, if him and Ben are bad, which I suspect, then great, just freaking get to it already.

7) The freighter crew that came to the island to "rescue" the survivors.

OK...this one has been jogging around my mind a tad. Widmore paid Frank Lepidus, a pilot who was supposed to be the pilot of 815, Miles, a clairvoyant, Faraday, a physicist, the red-headed anthropologist, and Naomi to find the island. Apparently they were there for Ben. We can surmise that their intentions on the island were less than noble. The more I think about it, the more I have a hard time believing that those sent to get Ben would become so buddy-buddy with Sawyer, Jinn, etc. They did give a back story on each one, but I kind of want to know why (outside of Frank's obvious flying skills) each one is specifically needed.

8) Are we ever going to see Claire again?

Don't give me this "Claire is dead," because she's with Christian. She wandered off at the end of season 3 and we haven't seen her since. Does that annoy anyone else?

9) Where did Faraday go?

He travelled back in time with the rest of them, and Sawyer didn't really give a clear account of what happened to this guy. I do find it interesting that Faraday's mom has been working in close conjunction with Ben Linus and Faraday is supposed to be working for Linus's enemy Charles Widmore.

10) Why did some people travel back in time and others did not?

I'd imagine this question will be answered soon enough....I mean common sense would dictate such, but then again, what do I know. Also, before Ben got on the plane, he looked to have gotten the crap kicked out of him. I'd love to find out what happened there.

My issue now is I'm emotionally invested in the show. I love it, and I really want to know what happens (I also avoided asking any smoke monster questions....what it is, where it's from, etc.). I'm frustrated with the show because instead of answering any of the legitimate, aforementioned mysteries, the writers thought the show needed a nice dose of time travel. Because if anything in the world can clear up a muddy story, it's a time travelling island. Oh, and the potential Sawyer-Kate-Julliet love triangle that's starting to be teased. Don't think I forgot about Kate and Julliet fighting over Jack when Kate had a thing for him back in season 3 and part of 4. Wow...OK, if you're a "LOST" fan, your comments/critiques/etc. are welcome.

Sin City

I'm going to stop making promises about updates (even if you are still following this thing, I commend you for your patience). Anyway, I just got back from Las Vegas with Matt, Stack, and Kevin. I never take pictures, even though I'm a proud owner of a Kodak Easyshare camera, but I digress. Anyway, let's review my weekend in Vegas, or Spring Break '09.

I actually could not sleep a wink the night before I left. Seriously, it was like I was 17 years old again waiting for Christmas to arrive. The last time I was in Vegas, it was 2001 with my then girlfriend. We drove up from LA, and...screw it, this is about this weekend. Sorry for getting sidetracked.

I took a cab to the airport, got some breakfast, and got on my flight. Since I was flying AirTran, I had to catch a connecting flight in Atlanta, which is always a bit weird for me to come back to. Everything looks so familiar, yet so different. Anyway, I get on my flight, and thank God for the video iPod, because there is nothing better than watching multiple episodes of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" and "Entourage."*

*I realize I just wrote that "there is nothing better than ____________." Let the record show that I do believe that there are better experiences in life, watching TV shows/movies on a video iPod is a pleasureable experience.

I land in Vegas, and go to baggage claim, and a particular advertisement catches my eye. It's Wayne Brady's new show that's playing at the Venetian (titled "Making &*&%$ Up). A quick reminder will tell you that this is the show I was in the running for a few months back. In case you're wondering, we didn't get a chance to see it (I'm getting there).

I take the shuttle over to the Imperial Palace, where Matt had a free room for us (he's a Harrah's Platinum card member, so he rack's up a ton of points). We grabbed a bite at PF Changs, and then had a few beers (Vegas has no open container law, so you can just wander around with whatever drink you like). Later that night, I got to spend time with Isabella, who now resides in Vegas. I met her back in Atlanta, and she's someone whom I've always had a very special bond with. We hit Mandalay Bay and other assorted Vegas hotspots, and had a great time. The next two days were spent at the craps table with Matt. If you've been reading my facebook status, I enjoy letting the world know the degree of "saltiness" a table has. I won't get into it too much, but it's a good thing (Kevin heard some guys a few years back at a table talking about "keeping it salty." No one knew what it meant). Casino Royale has a $3 table that was great. I shot horribly, but Sunday night, Kevin arrived. Before I continue, if you're wondering about Stack's whereabouts, he could've been found at the roulette wheel back a the hotel. Moving on.

By this point in my gambling, I was only down about $40 or so. Not bad, considering I brought $500 to play with (which means, I was willing to lose that amount). Kevin, Matt, and I hit the $3 table at Casino Royale, and that's where things turned.

Between the 1st time shooter next to me, Kevin, and the guy next to him, I killed it. The lady next to me rolled for about 20 minutes, and Kevin and the guy next to him rolled for almost an hour. They hit EVERYTHING. It was ridiculous. I've never seen anything like it. Once we got up a good ways, we decided to see Old Vegas, which is down on Fremont Street.*

*If you've never been to Vegas, you've seen Fremont St. It has the neon cowboy pointing to his back with the thumb, and it has an LCD screen covering the street.

We got down there, and tried to find some cheap gambling. In my confident state, I found a $5 craps table, and proceeded to lose $91 in the blink of an eye. Not cool. Since there wasn't much going on down in that neck of the woods, we decided to hit the MGM Grand back on the strip.

Kevin told us about this mechanical horse racing game. In a nutshell, you bet at least a quarter on these mechanical horses racing in a circle. You're betting on the top 2 finish combination*

*Since the numbers can't repeat, it's a statistical combination. If they were able to repeat, it's a permutation, which is one of the reasons I say "locker permutation" instead of combination. It's a pet peeve of mine.

The game pays out odds based on the winners. So if you bet 2 quarters on a 2-4 combo to win, and they win and it pays 7, you win 14. Make sense? I hope so, because I really can't think of an easier way to explain it.

There's no rhyme or reason or strategy in this game. Press a bunch of buttons, and yell at your horses to win. It's an entertaining game by itself, but what made the game even better was this guy at the end of the table. He was a self-proclaimed expert at the game. Every time a horse combo won, he would exclaim "Just like I expected." Hilarious. It's funnier if you were there, if you could just picture this guy dispensing his advice with all the seriousness of an ESPN "bracketologist," or Mel Kiper on the draft. He claimed he'd been playing this game for 9 years, which raised the question of why he hasn't graduated onto something better than 25 cent horse racing. Kevin thought it'd be hilarious to give me his advice, and told me to bet on a 2-4 combo, and that he bet 5 quarters on it. Once you make a bet, you can't take it back. Oh, and it paid like 68 to 1 or something. The joke was on Kevin, as it hit.

On our way back to Casino Royale for more craps, we're walking down the strip and some Asian tourists started pointing at Kevin. They ran up to him and started asking "tim-bah-lay?" over and over. After a few moments, I asked "Timberlake?" and they pointed at him and nodded. You should now see where this is going. Kevin got mistaken for Justin Timberlake by these tourists. So what's an improv guy to do, but say "yes, and." Unfortunately they didn't have a camera. I know, I could make a very easy joke right here, but I'll pass. I think we made these kids day, because they're going back home to tell everyone they met Justin Timberlake.

Vegas was a blast. I ended up getting on the plane with more money than I left with, Kevin just left yesterday. For those of you wondering how he did, he came in with $100 to play with, and when I last talked to him, he was up $1100. I think he found his calling.

One Year Later

...or thereabouts....who's counting really. So, as of this Sunday, I'll be celebrating my 1 year anniversary of life as a New Yorker. Wow, that looks odd in print, but I got to admit, I like it. Oh, and a very Happy Mardi Gras to all of you. God Bless America and the fact that we really do celebrate diversity in this country. We're all about "Fat Tuesday," Mexican Independence, and Patrick riding the Emerald Isle of snakes some time back in the fifth century, AD. Either all of the aforementioned, or this country really likes to find excuses to get hammered. Anyway, back to the blog, now with EXTRA bullet points.

So, in the year that I've been here, let's look a the highlight reel of accomplishment:

A) I found an affordable place to live in Manhattan in a safe neighborhood, with plenty of access to public transportation, and tons of stores/restaurants/anything anyone could need. Oh, and I found said place approximately 24 hours after my plane touched down at LaGuardia, and me knowing all of 2 people in New York. Boo yeah.

B) I found a job about 2 weeks later, a job which I then transferred to another place in the company, which seemed great, but helped me learn how fake some people can be, and....I'm sorry, I just don't like this massive run-on sentence. In a nutshell, I still have gainful employment, and I take care of myself just fine amidst these less than stellar economic times.

C) I have my level 4 graduation show this week at the Upright Citizens Brigade. Once you graduate from level 4 (no guarantee you will), you are then welcome to audition for the various house Harold teams that perform regularly (a short term goal of mine that is in reach).

D) I begin work on my sketch writing class in April. The ultimate goal is becoming more visible with each passing day.

E) I had an awesome meeting with an A-list agent, that I'm happy to say I work with on a freelance basis, and I whom I keep in regular contact with.

F) I made a ton of new friends, and I still keep in very close contact with all of my friends from Atlanta, many of whom have made the pilgrimedge up to the Big Apple to see me.

G) I've done 4 shows at the UCB theatre, and I had a small role in one film.

H) I auditioned for Wayne Brady's new improv show in Las Vegas, received stellar praise from Wayne himself, and got to do 2 scenes with him. He's quite possibly one fo the nicest, most professional people any one could meet. Oh yeah, and he did recognize the skills.

All in all, not bad. Oh, and I finally bought myself a blackberry, a digital camera, and I cut 4 inches of hair off (the latter happening yesterday). I still don't update this thing nearly as often as I should. Anyway, here's to being further along next year!!!

The Declaration of Dependence

When in the course of human events it becomes clear that the prodigal son has wandered too far away from what is really best for him, it is necessary for said proverbial prodigal son to return home. When using the term "home," it should be recognized that the only home is mother England who knows what's best for her prodigal child. The current United States of America needs the United Kingdom now more than ever.

We hold these truths to be self-evident. That all men were created equal under their respective Creator, holding such inalienable rights. Rights such as the right to a job, the right to a house, but not just any house, a nice house with at minimum 1.5 bathrooms and 2 bedrooms for at least 2 people (if more than 2 people reside in said house, we just extrapolate these numbers to fit the right number of people), the right to healthcare (by healthcare, we mean free plastic surgery, free gastric by-pass, free operations, and free drugs whenever and where ever we need them), free clothes, free cable, free wi-fi, free coffee, free food, free bed-time stories, free massages, free transportion, and last but not least freedom from arms. We also left out security, because we also realize that freedom is totally overrated, and it's more important to be secure than free. It should also be understood that you wanted this for us from the get go, and we thought we knew better. Prior to 1776, you ran a pretty tight ship and people were very secure. Unfortunately, we fought in the most unnecessary war in this nation's history by fighting in the Revolutionary War (aka British Vietnam) and won (accidentally), and it took 11 years to draft the Constitution once we declared our independence. Think of all the lives lost in that senseless war led by early "American" terrorists George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine, and Benjamin Franklin. Had we just used diplomacy and realized that the United Kingdom wanted what is best for us, we wouldn't be having the problems we have now under our current administration and our current economy.

The history of the current American president is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all screwing with our current economy/well-being. To prove this accusation, let us prove this to an entire cyber-world:

George W. Bush is a Nazi, a racist, and an elitist. He also destroyed our economy all by himself. It was all his fault, no one else but his. It wasn't the fault of banks lending to sub-prime lenders, it had nothing to do with people living outside of their means, it had nothing to do with a Congress that wanted to placate to their constituants, it had nothing to do with our own sense of wanting more and our "entitlement" lifestyle. It was 100% George Bush's fault, since he is the president and he makes all of the decisions.

George Bush is the reason for all of our problems. Government is benevolent and will only help others. We're not funding things enough under our current economy, ergo our current situation. It's the prime reason why the current United States of America should re-colonize and become part of Britain.

Under our current free market economy, we've royally (no pun intended) screwed up, and we realize the error of our ways. The free market just doesn't work anymore, and we believe that we are stronger together than we are apart. We would be 50 colonies strong for the United Kingdom, making us even more united under said current system.

We've had a Civil War. We clearly can't agree with our selves, as at one poit there were 3 seperate countries (not all at once) on this land (the Unites States, the Republic of Texas, and the Confederate States). We can't decide what's right for us, so we need you know.

Oh, and he also rapes babies and murders kittens (allegedley).

All in all, if you would be so inclined, these 50 states (which will become colonies if you see fit), would like to be absolved into the United Kingdom. Let's forget about the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812, and know that we will be ultimately better off under a United Kingdom. This declaration isn't an official declaration, but just the the ramblings of a mad man.

By the way United Kingdom, we're sorry, our bad, please forgive us and let us back in and make it all better.

Sincereley,
The United States

Brian Godleski

Election

Damn it, I really wanted to keep talking about my vacation. I really did, but it's Super Tuesday, and I need to talk about the election. So we'll take a brief pause on vaction and talk about my voting experience today.

I registered a few months ago, and the state of New York requires party registration (I registered as a Libertarian). So google-mapped (is that even a verb?) my poll location, and it's litterally a block and a half away. The polls opened at 6 am, and I got there about 7 am to vote. Talk about a complete cluster ####. People were litterally just herded into groups in there, and thank God I got there when I did. Had I gotten there later, I would have litterally had to wait 4 plus hours. Couple that with the fact that the voting machines are about 50 years old, and you have the recipe for a beautiful mess. Let's pause for a second. The presidential election is an even you can pretty much set your watch to. I mean, it does sneak up on you every FOUR years. You would think the right people in charge would have the foresight to replace these dinosaur machines. To give you a better idea of what I had to deal with, here are these old school machines. You go behind a curtain, you look at this kind of grid in front of you, and you flip a switch for the person you want to as president, state rep, etc. Once you've done that, you pull a huge lever and that's how you cast your vote. I felt like I was working a cotton gin of sorts, which would make Eli Whitney proud. My biggest concern once I voted was that I did NOT get an "I Voted" sticker. I really like the satisfaction of voting and showing the world I voted, and I didn't see anything like that offered. Maybe they don't give Libertarians stickers for voting, I don't know...and the more that I think about it, I really want one.

I'm not going to wax political here, because I really try to keep this blog free of any political kind of rhetoric (let's just not get into it), but if you asked me who I voted for, if you know anything about me at all, you should be able to surmise that one yourself. If you ask me who I think will win, I think Obama is going to win the election. Watching Fox News now, they're saying McCain needs to win 5 out of the 6 following states (Indiana, Ohio, North Carolina, Virginia, Pennslyvania and Florida). That's a lot, and it's too close to call right now. Who knows. I will say this about America; good for you for getting out and voting. Our electorate had become very appathetic over the past few years, and to see people getting out there and becoming more politically active is good. Now if we can only explain to some of these people how the electoral college works, we'd be cooking. However, I did realize something today about America and Americans. We're essentially a bunch of spoiled teenagers in this country. I'm not saying things can't improve, and I definitely have my gripes with the government, but when you sit back and think about it, we have a lot to be grateful for. We don't have a police state (at least not as of this writing), most of us have a roof over our head, we don't have people starving in this country (obesity and heart disease are two gi-normous problems facing many people in this country, primarily the poor). Oh, and how many teenagers do you see sporting cell phones, ipods, and their own computer? Yeah, exactly. We're just like those spoiled teenagers. The second anythings goes wrong, or if our next proverbial Christmas isn't as good as our last, we bitch and moan. It's a pretty good simile if you think about it. OK, rant off. We'll get back to fun, hilarious vaction stories later this week. End transmission!

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

Back from vacation, and let's blog. I had a blast with my brother and my closest friends. There truly is nothing like the cruise. We'll be getting into the aforementioned cruise in the next blog, but as you can probably surmise by the title of this blog is going to follow mostly my adventure of getting to Newark Liberty airport. Let's begin at the beginning.

Worked last Friday and Saturday evening and made some nice cash. This cash will be my spending money on the cruise, mainly for gambling, jet skis, gambling, some duty free liquor, and also gambling. Now my flight leaves Newark Liberty on 10/19 at 6:30 am. Typically, I'm a die hard supporter of Air Tran, and I will now tell you why. I fly a lot. Really, a considerable amount for a guy who does whatever the hell it is I do. Having said that, I can only speak from personal experience in that I've never had a serious problem with Air Tran. They are always friendly at the check in counter, they'll often try to get you on an earlier flight if there's room without any fees, and if you're going to be late for a flight, they will give you an honest answer as to if you will get on the flight (mainly so you can save $50-$75 in change over fees). Now think about that. A company more concerned with my happiness as a consumer rather than getting a few extra bucks. The one time I did have a problem with Air Tran, I got bumped from my flight, but they were very apologetic about it and gave me a free roundtrip ticket anywhere in the U.S. to make up for it AND they got me on the next available flight. Problem solved, moral of the story, I love Air Tran.

I am flying Continental on this day. I am flying Continental at 6:30 in the morning out of Newark. I live in Manhattan. What's my solution? Plan ahead of course. I have my money, suitcases are packed, I don't go to sleep, I grab a quick shower then a sandwich from the corner deli and leave for Newark airport. Oh, I forgot to mention, I left my place at 165th and Broadway at 2:30 am to make a 6:30 flight to Miami. I think 4 hours is ample time to get from Manhattan to Nework, even in the wee hours of the morning. The following unfolded.

I take the A train (late on Saturday night means it runs local, which means it hits every stop on the C line). I'm entertained by an insane woman's ranting/what can be described as an attempt at singing. Actually, I'm not really entertained, I more or less tolerate/ignore her. Fortunately, the dumb ass teenagers (i.e. the only people on the planet who actually laughed at movies like "Meet the Spartans" and "Disaster Movie") thought it'd be a hoot to egg her on to keep singing. Yeah, attention will most certainly make this nut job stop. Good strategy. I finally get off at 34th St. Penn Station to take a NJ Path train over to the Garden State. From my earlier research, there's a Path train that's $2 that takes you to Newark Airport, and a shuttle taking you to the actual airport. Got all that so far? Sounds simple enough, there's demand for flying out of Newark, so let's have a train running all hours of the night. Before I make the transfer to train number 2 for the morning, let me pass on this bit of info. If you're walking through Penn Station with suitcases, just get ready to have the ever living #$#@ bugged out of you by every cabby.

Random cab guy: "Hey hey, hey guy, where you go? You need cab?"
Brian: "No man, I'm good, thank you."
RCG: "But where you go, I take."
Brian: "Really, I have it under control, I do appreciate your offer."
RCG: "You go to airport, I get you there 10 minute, 10 minute."
Brian: (not sure if he means 10 minutes or 10 minutes twice, equalling 20 minutes, and forever regretting I opened my mouth to the guy) "How much to Newark airport?"
RCG: "Newark 60, I take for 60."
Brian: "Thanks but I think I'm fine."

It finally took me telling the guy I wasn't willing to pay more than $20 to get from Penn Station to Newark airport, which made him leave in disgust, all though I do appreciate his willingness to shout out lower numbers in a feigned attempt to haggle. Another dude started to follow me up the escalator, and I told him I was good, but finally, I was too cranky to be bothered.

Random Cab Guy 2: "Nah nah, it's cool man, just where you headed?"
Brian: (beginning to really lose his patience) "I'm headed to the end of this escalator. I decided to pack up some personal belongings and take myself on a nice little trip to this escalator, and I'm good. Mission accomplished."
RCG2: ..........

So, I leave cabby heaven and head 2 blocks to where the Path train is and buy my ticket. I get on a train that leaves promptly, but not before getting instructions from a police officer who told me Newark was the last stop. FYI, the train takes you to Newark Penn Station, not to Newark airport like the MTA website suggested. It's quite possible I wasn't really paying attention, who knows, but we'll keep going. I take my second train until the last stop, only to be told that I need to transfer to another train that takes me to another stop in Newark. Talk about convenience. This third train took me to another stop, where I purchased a $7 ticket directly to Newark airport one stop away. However, that train wasn't scheduled to get there until 5:30 am. Awesome, I think to myself, or maybe out loud, who really knows at this point. I take the New Jersey Transit train one stop to Newark Liberty airport, thinking to myself, OK, it's now 5:40, I'm here, I have 1 bag to check, I'm still good. Oh wait, now I need to take an Air Train over to the actual airport. So we're already at 3 trains, plus the last train that took me to my current position and now an Air Train on top of that, bringing us to a grad total of 5 trains. Of course, that takes it's sweet ass time as well. Oh, and the Air Train picks you up at one station, only to drop you off at another station to wait on yet another train (6...6 f'ing trains to get to Newark airport from the "City that Never Sleeps"). Finally, I ask the guy as I'm awaiting my 6th train the following:

Brian: "Hey man, I don't want to seem rude, but I'm trying to catch a flight, how far of a walk is it to the terminal?"
Guy: (breathing deeply and looking with squint-eyed concentration at the terminal)"...hmm, maybe 10 minutes or so."
Brian: (after waiting for 17 minutes for train number 6) "Seriously, 10 minutes? Cause I really don't mind walking that."
Guy: "Yeah, but it is kind of cold. Oh, here comes the train now." (For the record, it was only 55 degrees).

I board the traing wondering how in the hell it's taken me over 3 hours to go roughly 8 miles from where I live. I'm beginning to think that I could've walked it in less time, and I'm not joking. I find the Continental check in desk, and of course there is a line. I told one of the people assisting that I need to catch a 6:30 flight to Miami and I have to check a bag. She immediately got me to a rep, and I'm starting to feel good about Continental.

Brian: "Hi, I tried to check in and it won't let me board. I know I'm running late, but I left at 2:30 this morning, I'm very tired and I just want to check my 1 bag and get on the plane." (I had 2 bags total)
Lady behind the Counter: (comibned look of shock and contempt) "Oh, you're not getting on that flight, you're late." I might be able to get you on a 12:00 flight, which you'll be standby, but it's more likely I can get you out this afternoon."
Brian: (not doing a good job of hiding his frustration) "I really appreciate the offer, but it simply won't work. I'm leaving on a cruise at 3:30 from Miami, and if I don't get on a flight before 11:00 am, I will literally miss the boat. I'm not trying to be mean to you, but I've had a tremendously frustrating time getting here, and I'd greatly appreciate any help you can offer." (Verbatim of what I said).
Counter: "Hold please.....here (handing me a ticket), I got you on a 7:00 am flight to Ft. Lauderdale."
Brian: "I really can't thank you enough. Thank you!"

I think anyone would be pretty frustrated at that point, so I was pretty justified. However, she didn't seem to happy with me, and I immediately was flagged as a "security threat." Oh this is going to be awesome. Most of you know my feeling on the TSA. If you don't, well, here it is: they do just as good a job as any post office or DMV worker.

So I go through their little tests, have wind blown all over me, a guy snaps his glove at me and asks me to take off my belt with my cool belt buckle, I think he means something else, and he didn't appreciate my joke about being gentle, and now I can finally board my plane.

3 hours later, I touch down in Ft. Lauderdale. I go to baggage claim, and I'm fortunate to know that my luggage is not there. I go to the Continental Luggage office, and they ask me if I'm sure. I'm losing all patience at this point as I look around the room and say, "nope, not here."

Other Lady: "Well, it should be. It says so in the computer."
Brian: (thinking to himself) "Oh thank God the computer says that and I'm wrong, because I still don't have my bag!!!"

Finally they inform me it's on the next flight (I'll save you some time...it wasn't). So now I'm kind of freaking out a tad because I'm really particular about my stuff getting lost. Continental was ever so kind to offer 10% off any future Continental flight and a free drink on the flight. Awesome, scratch paper because I'm not flying on your airline again!!! Finally, my luggage turns up (2 and half hours later), and I take a bus over to Miami from Ft. Lauderdale. At this point, I'm pretty attached to my stuff and I don't want it leaving my sight. We drop the first set of passengers off, then our group (those riding on the Valor). Do I have to tell you what happened next? Let me lay out a few options:

A) Brian gets a message saying he booked a national commercial that shoots when he gets back
B) Brian finds a $100 bill in his seat
C) Carnival misplaces the luggage Brian watched them put on the bus

If you guessed C, you're seeing the pattern of how my day went. The bus driver was kind enough to drive me back over to the other port, and of course I fear the worse as some goof ball thinks my luggage looks like his or hers, or some careless porter just takes it and puts it with the others and starts to load it on the other ship. As luck would have it, I got my stuff back and was ready to finally check in for Cruise '08. Oh, and for those wondering about Kevin's trip down. He got bumped to first class and got to the boat way before I did. Unfortunately, his free bump to first class included the seat with too much leg room. Next they probably ran out of macadamia nuts for his hot fudge Sunday, and he probably got digits from a gorgeous model who likes to spend lots of money on her boyfriends. So that concludes getting down there. I should get some pics of the week in a few days, so we'll leave you here now and waiting with antici...............pation.

National Lampoon's Halloween Vacation

Because it's almost Halloween and I make up the titles. So here's the life of Brian in a nutshell. I leave for my yearly cruise this Sunday. I didn't make Cruise '06 a couple of years back (because I was planning to move to LA and...nevermind, it's a long story). Me and a few of my boys go on a cruise every year and it's awesome. Let me first clarify that it's my friends and there are females going as well, as I can see how some of your sophomoric minds could construe the previous statement as a tad homo-erotic (i.e. a bunch of guys going on a cruise together). Anyway, moving on...pictures will be posted when I get back. Let's hit some random thoughts:

1. I so want the Rays to put away the Red Sox, but it's pretty damn hard when they don't don't chew their food properly. Seriously guys, the 2007 Mets think you choked Game 5 tonight. Take care of business in Game 6. It's times like this I wish I had a compulsive gambling disorder.

2. Sticking with sports, for all the Atlanta Braves fans out there, how many of us are pointing and laughing at the Dodgers for signing Andruw Jones? Show of hands please. Granted, the did make the NLCS, territory the ATL hasn't seen since 2001, but I'm specifically talking about Jones. $18 million per year, he didn't even hit his weight (hell, he didn't hit Kirstie Alley's weight), didn't hit double digit home runs and finished the season on the DL. Guess $18 mil doesn't get you what it used to. By the way, Andruw you can take off the ski mask and put down the gun now, the robbery is over.

3. UGA vs. Vandy this weekend. I really like that Vandy is ranked, and I'm a tad bummed that they lost last week. I really would've loved for them to be undefeated when we play them. If you're a UGA fan, you'll note that we've dominated Vandy pretty well, but the past few years (the last 2 specifically), we haven't played our best against them (2006 we lost at home, 2007 we needed a last minute field goal to beat them in Nashville). I like our chances this weekend, but Georgia has this bad habit of dominating for a half, shutting it down, then letting their opponent back into the game just enough to not "win convincingly," something that the OU's and the USC's do like clockwork. I also don't understand how when we were ranked #3 and lost to then #8 Bama by 9 we drop out of the top 10, yet then #1 OU loses by 10 to #5 Texas and they're still a top 5 team. Makes a ton of sense.

4. I was shopping at a Marshall's in the Bronx today (if you're not sure what a Marshall's is or you live somewhere near Tatooine, Marshall's is a discount clothing chain that sell all the shit no one else really wants), and I was looking for a bathing suit (which you won't find in NY in October because it's out of season), and I saw something a tad eskew. So I see all this New York sporting good stuff, plenty of Mets/Yankees/Giants/Jets apparel, and all of a sudden, I see a college themed golf set. College football is not as big as it is down south (understatement of the year by leaps and bounds), but it was a Texas Tech golf set. Couple things we have at work here, which I'll outline below:

a) New York, specifically the Bronx....not really known for it's golf, let alone Marshall's being the preferred supplier for all golf related items
b) When it comes to anything....ANYTHING sports merchandise related in this town, it's Yankees, Giants, Mets, Jets, etc. I can go on for quite some time. In essence, New York really likes to jam it's sports teams down your throughts (you'll see it a ton in sporting good stores). Why on earth they specifically chose a random team from the Big XII (no offense to the Red Raiders or Red Raider alumni), but...really?? It reminded me of my friend Mesina who is a Tech alum, so I'm not sure if it was on purpose or if there's a huge Texas Tech following up off 225th St.

5. Fellas, if you buy roll on deoderant, I would avoid purchasing Axe brand (Phoenix scent). Your body odor will definitely resurrect like the creature of ancient mythology (or Fawkes from the Harry Potter series).

6. I'm narrowing down my Halloween costume list. I'll probably be John Lennon one day, Vladimir Lenin another (just to be a wise ass), combine the 2 and be Leon Trotsky on another day (just google his name, I'm not going to explain, and before you ask, pre-hatchett to head...still a bit too soon in my opinion), but I really want to be Dennis Eckersley circa 1992. Or the Dread Pirate Roberts. Or Captain Morgan (from the rum bottles). Or Jack Sparrow. I might even do Wendy (of fast food, Baconator and Frosty fame) with a hyped up pituitary gland, because I have a great time wearing pig tails on the side of my head.

Bed time. See you when I get back. Go Dawgs.

Everything I Ever Leared in the World, I Learned from "Saved by the Bell"

I'm just going to quick telling you (if you're still checking this bad boy regularly) that "I promise to update regularly." I sound like someone in D.C. for crying out loud (we'll get to that in a moment.) Oh, I've had a few auditions, things are going fine, blah blah blah...let's have some fun.

Lesson 1: It's perfectly normal for an administrator to spend time with 6 of his students in social settings.

When Penny Belding argued with Principal Belding over her mother staying at the house, Belding follows Screech over to Zack's house, and Belding proceeds to hang out with Zack, Slater, and Screech. He even buys them pizza and spends the night at the Bayside locker room with "all the towels a guy could want." He would also make frequent appearances at the Max, and when Kelly left Zack for Jeff, her boss at the Max, Belding wanted in on the gossip during their photojournalism class. Pefectly normal, acceptable behavior between an adult and his students. Seriously, were Derrick Morris Major Slater too busy selling computers to deal with this dude showing up to hang with their kids?

Lesson 2: Any adult in a position of authority can be easily manipulated.

No one manipulated better than Zack Morris. Seriously, dude got whatever he wanted, and he didn't even have to stoop to using subliminal messages (Oh wait...they did). Zack would appeal to people's greed to or emotions, and pretty much got what he wanted, like when he wanted to throw a baby shower for Mrs. Belding to coincide with his Physics mid-term from Mr. Heimlich. Enter one Richard Belding to help facilitate Zack's request (only to postpone it for the weekend). And before I forget, kudos to Slater for teaching us to take a much needed shower after the baby shower, but before the impending earthquake. I think back fondly on all the showers I took immediately right after school let out at 2:15. I think Miss Bliss could've acted as more of a conscience to Zack, but alas, Zach, Screech, Lisa, Screech, and of course Belding all moved form Indiana to Los Angeles to go to high school. Starting to see a pattern here?

Lesson 3: Sterotypes are real and they 're hilarious.

It's perfectly OK for two of the most popular guys at Bayside to be friends with Screech, so long as he keeps doing stuff to benefit you (see the manipulation above for further clarification). Everything from making fake ID's to stealing a water pump from the school garage, Screech was on it for Zack and Slater. How is poor Screech repaid? By Zack making out with the love of Screech's life, Ms. Lisa Turtle. All though it only lasted one episode, Screech should have grown a pair and stood up to Zach. Hell, let loose your robot Kevin on him, and beat him with his own arms and legs. I'll have more on Samuel Powers later, but I also need to cover guys like Ox (the token jock), who was on the football team, Mawell (the richest, most powerful dork at Bayside), and Violet Anne Bickerstaff (played by a pre-90210 Tori Spelling). Oh, that also reminds me...

Lesson 4: No matter how many times a girl turns you down, just keep trying and holding out hope, because maybe, just maybe one day she might like you back.

Because one thing all women love is a guy who can't take a hint (I'm looking at you Screech). From gluing ears onto the heads of worms to dressing up as a giant heart on a flashback show to inventing the dance "The Sprain" and winning the dance contest at the Max with Lisa, Screech never let up. I was a bit disappointed he didn't pick his favorite love ballad by the band Europe and sing it to her (seriously, no one sings a love song like Joey Tempest). Nowadays, Miss Turtle could easily head over to her local county courthouse and pick up a nice restraining order to solve this problem. Maybe she was insecure and attention starved and she liked to manipulate poor Screech also, who knows.

Lesson 5: No matter what happens between you and your high school significant other, you must remain friends and continue to hang out in the same circle.

Again, because your feelings as a guy don't matter. It's much healthier to be friends with a member of the opposite sex under false pretenses than to say "you know what, you left me for that dude you work for at the Max, Kelly. That's not cool, and we're done. Give me back my buddy band, because evidently, it didn't work." Oh, and if you make a nice gesture, like scoring Raider tickets that cost Slater $100, you're a pig. Again, never mind the fact that a high school kid in the early 90's was able to procure said tickets (which would be considerably higher today, adjusted for inflation and the fact that Slater had no income at all) and he just wanted to spend time with Jessie, he's wrong. So what's the best way to fix this problem? If you guessed dress up in spandex and prance around the fast food joint where you have lunch 5 days a week and probably spend considerable time there on the weekends...oh, and have a mutual friend dress up and impersonate your pissed off girlfriend, you'd be right. Funny how those things work out.

Lesson 6: You can control the space/time continium simply by calling "Time Out."

Pretty bad ass if you think about it, all though Zack didn't use it as much as he could've. Maybe he only got 3 per episode or week, like football. No matter how hard I try, I can't do it (not yet, at least).

Anybody out there watch the debate tonight? Last thing I want to do is turn my blog into something political, but with the election coming up, people are going to talk about it. Let me first say for the record, I have opinions on politics (if you know me really well, you know how I am), and I'm not out to change anyone's mind or anything. I like to look at things a tad differently (I get that from my dad...my brother and I think very much alike). So, while I'm up and writing and waxing philosophical on "Saved by the Bell," let's cover some current events.

Issue 1: The econonmy, specifically the $700 Billion bailout.

I'm no Milton Friedman by any stretch of the imagination, but I do have a take on this hole matter. Let me first start off by pointing out that this bailout is one of the least polarizing issues of the upcoming election, in that pretty much everyone hates the idea of it. Seriously, whether you're a liberal, conservative, democrat, libertarian, independent, republic, progressive, bull moose party, whig, or know-nothing party member, you're not down with borrowing money we don't have to bail out big businesses. Those same people sent a message to the House, which voted down the measure. From a personal stand point, I don't think any business should be bailed out by the government when things go bad, especially when said business's decisions got them in this situation. I've been in shitty situations before, and I'm sure plenty of you who are reading this (all 10 or so of you who still read this bad boy) have been in a crappy financial situation, and the government didn't cut you a check. For the record, if you use one credit card to pay down another credit card, guess what...the debt is still there (since we don't have this money laying around any where, we're essentially doing the aforementioned). I'm not saying something doesn't need to be done, however we as the taxpayers don't need to "invest" in all of these bad mortages(because the government doesn't spend your money, they invest it...sounds better, don't it?). We're going to have to pay this bad boy back someday ("From those according to their abilities...") because so many of these dumb ass banks thought it would be good to loan money to people who normally wouldn't qualify for a $100,000 mortage and are getting $300,000 mortages that they would no way in hell pay back. Now the banks require $700 Billion to remain solvent because so many people are defaulting on loans ("...to those according to their needs."). And that quote? Some dude named Marx wrote about that philosophy back in the 1840's. It was in some kind of Manifesto, or something. Of course, technically, the banks would still be privately owned, with the government telling them what to do, so in all actuallity we call that practice facisim. You know, if we're going to engage in pseudo-marxism, let's freaking do it. Why stop at $700 Billion? Go for a cool trillion, hell get the Fed involved and they can make the first ever trillion dollar bill. Put all of the presidents pictures on it (they can all be having a party, and Grant is passed out in the corner...and you'd have to have 2 differnt, non-consecutive versions of Grover Cleveland). Send that money to the tax payers, and let them circulate it back into the economy. Why stop there? Let's just print more money!!! Problem solved, and the tax payers wouldn't even take the hit.*

*Let the record show that I'm well aware of what would happen to our economy if we introduced a trillion dollars of counterfeit money into circulation, I'm not going to go into all the fun stuff, since this blog isn't about learning, it's about me bitching and moaning...end result would be high taxes and the value of the dollar significantly diminishing.

Issue 2: Healthcare reform.

I think it's pretty safe to say that people want healthcare. It's pretty safe to say that any reasonable person would like to see everyone have healthcare. Again, not trying to convince anyone or sway opinions, but I have my own thoughts, so here we go. Let me state for the record that yes, we need to fix healthcare in America. My issue is that the solution being bandied about right now is to put 1/6 of our national economy under government control (i.e. socialized medicine...FYI, if doctors on on the government payroll, there's no nicer way to say it, it's socialized medicine). So we're going to put the same people who are in charge of the post office, the DMV, and airport security in charge of our healthcare. Hmm.......not sure about that. My reasons? One thing the government doesn't do well is customer service, so you could imagine the bedside manner of these doctors. A possible solution? Keep reading...

We live in an awesome country. I truly love America, I love the free market (maybe to a fault), and I love the Constitution (way better than the Articles of Confederation...no contest). So let's look to the 10th amendment. Most people are familiar with the 1st, 2nd, and 5th, but what's the deal with the 10th? In a nutshell, it basically says "The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people." Awesome. That's a big one. Oh, what does it mean, and how does it relate to healthcare? Funny you should ask, and here's where the compromise/solution comes in. Let's say people in, oh, I don't know, let's use my current state of New York, let's say the people of New York want the government to pay for their healthcare. Each individual state has it's own government with it's own constitution and its own laws, so if the voters of the state of New York want the state of New York to pay for it, fine. Let the state of New York cover everyone's healthcare costs (through increased taxes), let the state of New York cover the out of network, and if you want to have government healthcare, move to a state that covers it. People who don't necessarily want socialized medicine are then free to live in states that don't have it on a public level. No one is forcing it on people who don't want it, so it's kind of a compromise. It's an option, and I think it's a pretty good idea (since I did come up with it). :)

Sorry, I only covered 2 issues, but I gave you an extra long blog (that's what she said). See you soon.

All Dogs Go to Heaven

If you're wondering, I started 301 today, and I had a great time, but today's blog isn't about me. If I haven't spoken to you yet, then you haven't heard the news. On Sunday morning, my dog Sable passed away. Man, that's really hard to see written. So today's blog is going to be more of a tribute to her then anything, because this dog was really special.

I got Sable about 10 years ago. We had taken Shelly back to the breeder we had gotten her from in order to knock her up so we could get another puppy (not that Shelly wasn't great, but we thought she needed a friend, and who better than a son or daughter?). I won't go into details, but it didn't work out as such, and the breeder offered me the option of trying to knock up my dog again or, giving me a puppy. I remember seeing this little gray dog that just loved being chased around the yard, especially by this huge Rotweiller (the Rot really liked this little dog, as she was very gentle when she caught her). I remember asking, "What about her? Can I take her home?" The breeder agreed, and Sable became our new dog. We have this weird thing of naming all of our pets "S" names, and I was really into wrestling at the time, so that's how she got her name. From the moment we brought her home, her and Shelly were inseperable. I swear, it was hilarious to watch them play in our front yard and watch Sable drag Shelly by her tail. Oddly enough, Shelly loved it! One of the first things people would notice about Sable is that she was grey (technical term was "blue mearle"). Even though she looked older, she was the puppy of the two. That, and she would force you to pet her head. If you started to pet her and then you stopped, she would force her head back under your hand and make you pet her. She really was something else.

I'll never forget the time I was headed out of town on a business trip (this is back when I worked for "the man," travelling the country in the closed circuit TV business), and I was driving to Alabama to have Kevin watch the dogs. Shelly sat on my lap (that one looked and played like a puppy until the day she died), whereas Sable, God bless her...let's just say she had a low center of gravity. She wasn't fat, she litteraly just weighed a lot. Not wanting to be outdone by her adopted mother, she decided to crawl up on my shoulders and sit there...the entire trip from Atlanta to Birmingham. I couldn't move her, she was so damn comfortable. A few years later, my dad drove up to Birmingham from Florida to take the dogs to their final home. My dad has an interesting bond with animals. Animals simply love my dad, no matter how tempermental they are with anyone else. To Shelly and Sable, my dad was theirs, and not to be shared with anyone, including our mom. My dad had a heart attack back in 2004, and the best medicine he could've received was the love and affection from those 2 dogs. I couldn't have picked a better doctor or nurse to look after him. After Shelly died, Sable kind of lost a step in her personality, but what she lost there, she knew she had to make up for Shelly. This dog took such good care of my dad, I really can't thank her enough. A few months ago, my mom called me and told me that Sable had had a stroke, and that she was moving slower, and my parents were just making her as comfortable as they could. I recently bought her some pain medicine (and in a beautiful twist of irony, of course it arrived at my parents house today). Anyway, I'd always ask about her when I called, and the answer was always fine. However, I knew she didn't have much time left when my parents called me on Saturday and told me that she had stopped eating and wouldn't take her medicine. When I saw the missed phone call on my caller ID Sunday morning, I didn't even need to listen to my mom's message. The Lord had called Sable home, which brings me to my next point. I don't want to get on a soapbox or espouse my religious beliefs, because I truly respect the beliefs and opinions of others, whether I agree or disagree with said beliefs/opinions. However, I'll say this: I truly believe that all dogs go to heaven, and if you're reading this blog now and you've ever lost a pet, know that he or she is truly in a better place. They don't feel any pain, and they continue to bring joy and love to all those around them. Seriously, could you imagine Heaven without our pets?

"Hi, welcome to Heaven, here's your room key (I have no idea why locks would be needed in Heaven, but just go with it). Heaven is truly the greatest place ever."

"Wow, I made it to Heaven!! This is great, I can see my dog again!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, but there's been a big misunderstanding; we don't allow pets, trash pick up is on Tuesday, and HBO costs extra. However, ESPN is free."

That's not Heaven. By the very definition of the word, pets have to be there, and they are there, and I know Shelly greeted Sable with a big kiss on her wet nose, and they immediately began to chase each other in a great big meadow that God prepared for all dogs. The only difference is, Shelly has her young pup legs, so she can keep up a whole lot better with Sable. And I know they can see and hear me know, and they both know how much they are loved and missed by their family.

Return of the King

OK, I've been lazy about my updates (I almost forgot I had this thing I've been so focused on other stuff), and the title is a bit self glossy, but it's the only thing I could come up with. So, let's hit on th recent stuWhen we last heard from our hero, he had just gotten an agent. There's a difference with exclusivity and signing talent in New York versus Atlanta. There's really no need to go into the finer points of it (if you have any questions, shoot me an email and I'll be happy to answer as best I can).

Also, now that the cat is out of the bag, yes, I did make a surprise return to Atlanta this past week. There was a bunch going on (my buddy Matt's 30th birthday, Chapman's last show at Whole World, and my friend Ashley's going away party). If you know me or anything about me, you'll know that if I'm a terrible secret keeper and an even worse hider. So Chapman, Matt, Stack, and I decided to have me make a surprise appearance at the Playing in Traffic Improv Show this past Sunday (we also made a trip to New Orleans this past weekend, but that's another blog). I flew in last Saturday (after being denied boarding on my flight which resulted in a later flight AND a FREE roundtrip ticket anywhere in the US). So I arrive in the ATL amidst many calls of "so are you coming in town?, etc." Keep in mind, I don't like lying to my friends, but the mission was at stake. Fast forward to Sunday, and here's the gameplan. I rode over to the studio in Brooke's trunk (that's what she said....oh, and she's Matt's girlfriend, who was also in on the whole thing). Chapman has the folks who are working the show in Nick's office so I can sneak in and hide under a table backstage (this is all happening about 45 minutes before the show). First shot at this whole thing, the door is locked, so back in the trunk for me. Chap gets the door open, I burst out of the trunk and high-tail it backstage and no one sees me. Now the next step in the plan (other than me having to be quiet and still for almost an hour). The game that I was going to enter was called "1, 2, 3." Essentially, it's 3 players, and the emcee manipulates how many people he (or she) wants on stage. If 3 players on stage and he calls "1," 2 need to justifiably leave. If he (or she) then calls "2," another player must justifiably enter. OK, good, so you get the set up. Now, the game was going to involve Matt, Stack, and Kelly Coker. If you know Coker, her and I are very close and she's also one of the most excitable people you will meet. I thought it'd be hilarious to surprise her for Matt's birthday (the reaction being the gift...can't put a price tag on that). Now, the other X-factor involved was the 2 other troupe members in the bull pen, Dave and Lara. Chapman was going to call "1" at some point in the scene, and Stack and Matt had to exit over by me, and after a few moments he was going to call "4," and I would enter back on and surprise Kelly. Now Dave and Lara being the good improv actors they are, if they had heard "4," they'd be on it in a heartbeat. So, to make sure they wouldn't enter, Chapman told them that he would be entering the scene on "4," and to just wait. OK, so that brings us up to the actual game. It's going on for a good 2 minutes or so (an improv enternity), and finally Chapman calls "1," and Matt and Stack tell Coker that they're both leaving, and they exit by me (oh, the set up for the scene was that it was a high school reunion, and Matt had established that they were the class president, vice president, and treasurer, respectively). After a good 30 seconds of Coker on stage, "4" is called, and Matt, Stack, and myself come back, and the audience was shocked. I was convinced Coker would've laughed her head off, but instead she started crying. Now that's an honest reaction (and in case you're wondering, I was Todd, the class parliamentarian, ready to bring back the discipline). The whole thing couldn't have gone any better, and I had a great time seeing everyone and catching up. Incidentaly, if I didn't get a chance to see you, and you feel slighted or peeved that I didn't tell you ahead of time, I'm sorry. A lot of planning went into this week, and Matt's one of my closest friends, and it was his 30th birthday. However, I only had a few days, so again, my 30th is coming up soon, and it's going to be an 80's prom in Atlanta (unless you all want to fly to New York, which might be kind of a cluster f---. So, until November...in the mean time, I had a great time, I miss and love you all....oh, and here's a few photos from the shennanigans post show. En-JOY!!!

OK, this is the kind of ridiculousness that I'm accustomed to. From left to right, that's Stack (aka Ringo), Vinnie (aka George), me (aka John), and the man of the hour Matt (aka Paul), and we just sold our 200th car...it's an inside joke.

That's me with my brother, Kevin. Yes, the resemblance is uncanny. Also, his couch is very comfortable, and he'll be visiting me at the end of August for Labor Day. Can't wait.

That's me with my Coker, Stack, Vinnie, Matt, and his girlfriend Brooke. Kelly is so great. Her favorite pastime is to tickle me and my brother, but not at the same time.

Why do I make such faces when I'm getting my picture taken? That's Jen to the left, with Chapman's girlfriend Jennifer, Jeff to her right, and Brian Chapman in teacher mode on top.

That's Nick to my left. He's the owner of the Professional Actor's Studio in Buckhead. Nick's quite a character, and I'm very proud that I studied at his studio, because Nick genuinely cares about his actors, and I made some of my best contacts and life long friends at his studio. I owe alot to that place.

Me and Matt. This one just pretty much speaks for itself.

Me, Kelly, and Wendy (aka Mrs. Dave). I can't say enough good things about these two.

Once again, a good shot of Stack, Vinnie, me, Brooke, and Matt. You should've noticed by now that I'm wearing a rockstar bandana in these shots. My hair is super long and it gets in my face and cutting it is not an option (unless my agent tells me so).

A Long Awaited Update

Time to break from tradition a bit (oh, by actually UPDATING my blog? Yeah, I know...but I have a valid reason). OK, so if you check Facebook, follow this thing, or talk to me, I mentioned that I had something pretty exciting in the works, and following up on my brother's advice (don't be the guy who talks about "I'm going to....," be the guy that says "I just did....,"). His sentiments were followed up by my good friend and fellow actor Tom Thon. So what did I just do? Let's set the stage and begin a tangent like only yours truly can bring you.

My very good friend Alicia Murton has a good friend who is an agent with one of the bigger agencies in New York (no, I'm not going to name drop the aforementioned agents). You know what, I can't hold it in, I had a metting with commercial division of Innovative Artists here in New York, and the meeting could not have gone any better!!! I'm still in a bit of shock, but I have a New York agent. It's super late, and I've been up since 7am, but I'm with them for commercials free lance (my actor buddy Allison explained what it means, and it's good). I'll go into further detail later this week, but THANK YOU ALL for your kind words, your prayers, and everything else. I'm truly blessed!!!

Broadcast News

OK, let's tee it up. I've been pretty busy over the past few weeks. For starters, if you didn't know, I'm now over at Dos Caminos (different restaurant under the same corporate umbrella). Nice place, I made bangin' money last week, so that's all good. So I'm in New York, got a good place, I like my job, it's time to start rockin' and rollin', which I have something in the works that I'm keeping on the down low. My brother made a good point, that my friend Tom Thon reiterated. "Don't be that actor who says, 'yeah, I'm working on this, I'm about to do this other thing, blahbuddy blah...be the actor who says, 'I've done this, this, and this.'" Great way to look at things and remain focused. I like it.

I also had some company in town this weekend. My brother Kevin was in town with his buddy Barry and their new friend Lisa (roommate of someone they have in Boston, whom they met in San Diego...yeah, I don't do the math, if you know Kevin and Barry, they make friends very easily, or at a Jason Stackhouse pace). Also, my buddy Brent from High School was in town, and my friend Tom Thon is currently in New York for an audition. We had coffee today. By the way, it was 90 today in Manhattan. This island is not well ventilated. By the way, central air is a blessing from God. I had my AC installed the other day (real old school type, where you mount it to the wall). My room feels MUCH better now (not like the past 2 nights....imagine sleeping in a sauna, because that's how it was). OK, I kept it short and sweet today...back to work!

One Flew Over the Kuckoo's Nest

I more than likely misspelled today's title, so if I did, we'll take care of it later. Let's start today's blog out right. In a previous blog (The Empire Strikes Back), I got on one of my soapboxes to vent, and I think I took it a bit too far by including my parentals. So in the interest of atonement, I'd like to publicly appologize to them. I had a bad day and I snapped and my anger was misplaced. I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong and when I screw up, and I'm doing it. So to mom and dad, I'm sorry I was a big jerk. OK, now on to he hilarity.

I'm gearing up for 201 and I'm stoked about it. If I haven't mentioned it earlier (I don't usually read previous blogs even though I wrote them). I swapped to the intensive (I'll be done in 2 weeks as opposed to a month), plus my show will be before my good buddy Matt's 30th and I'll get to party with him, Stack, and Vinnie (fellow Illuminati members). On top of that, I spoke with my 101 teacher about a possible internship at UCB and he said once I was done with 201 to let him know and he'd give me a shining recommendation. So all good stuff in terms of networking going on. It also looks like I'll be transferring from Ruby Foo's to Dos Caminos (thanks to my buddy Allison). That's a sister restaurant of the B.R. Guest (get it, it's a clever play on words!!!) corporate umbrella. I met with the GM John, he was super cool and it looks like it'll work out. I'm scheduled to start over there on Monday, so that's exciting. The last obstacle in the way is the current GM where I work, Phil. I've vented about him before, but I don't think I've gone into too much detail. Let me bring you into the Ruby Foo's Times Square for a moment.

First off, there are some pretty nice people I work with (who are probably reading this blog). As a keen observer, I've noticed a few things. The two managers who are great and great to work with (Jose and Lucien) are both leaving, which means if I weren't transferring, I'd be stuck with Jenn the Gossip, Alex the new manager (who just kind of looks....I don't know....well, I do know, I just won't say right yet),Eric (he's OK...he means well, so I really don't have a beef even though I was completely right the other evening...but I digress), and Phil, the GM (where do I begin?). So with my keen powers of observation (well, me, and about 15 other people) are noticing that the captain's crew is abandoning ship. Good people don't typically leave in droves, and don't tell me it's the recession because people still have to eat. Phil's the kind of guy to point out everything you're doing wrong while you're busy, but never offer any kind of help. I guess I can't blame him. After all, it's extremely hard to stand around and criticize employees on a daily basis. With Memorial Day coming up this weekend, listen to how we're "celebrating" at the Foo. We're going to serve BBQ at an Asian themed restaurant (the aforementioned Foo) whilst dressed as cowboys/cowgirls. That's exactly how we plan on driving more traffic into the restaurant. Just a take a few moments to re-read the previous two sentences and let that bad boy digest. It's fine, I'll wait....

OK, let's break it down; cowboys serving BBQ at an Asian restaurnat. Maybe if the question is "can you name three things that couldn't possibly go together in this lifetime or even this dimension?" Let me add another layer; we'll be playing Top 40 music while people eat (they rejected my idea of playing some real Country music, like Merle Haggard or the Highwaymen, but Phil told me that it wouldn't "work well"). Really. I'm still trying to noodle this one out. You know, I think nothing says "let's honor those who died for out country's freedom" than "cowboy." Not red, white, and blue, not the men hoisting the American flag at Iwa Jima, hell, not even pictures of Ike, Washington, or Kennedy. No, it's definitely gun sliggin', horse ropin', prairie roamin' cowboys. Maybe if we were celebrating the annexation of the Republic of Texas into the United States, I could see the whole cowboy thing going down. Maybe if we were a barbeque joint, I can understand it. Hell, maybe why not dressing up as genie's, play some reggae and serve fondue; it makes about as much sense. We could even try pilgrims, gangster rap, and serve new-American cuisine. I can go on and on, so you see where I'm going with this whole line of thinking. So anywho, that's enough bitching by yours truly. Happy Memorial Day, and we'll be right back after a message from our sponsors!